"He didn't make it, I'm sorry."
My eyes widened shockingly in pain and suffering, napaupo ako at walang ingay na bumagsak ang mga luha ko. Nanatili akong tahimik habang pinapatay ang puso ko sa sobrang sakit at pighati, tinakpan ko ang mukha ko at biglang humagulgol. I need to scream my pain and sadness.
"No, please..." I said in a quiet and shock voice while shaking my head. "I don't believe you! Wake him up, please! He promised me! I c-can't lose him! Please, please! Hindi niya ako iiwan!"
Nagyuko ng ulo ang nurse at doktor na kausap ko, my heart tightened so hard that my breath started running out. Sinapo ko ang dibdib ko at pinadyak ang aking mga paa sa sobrang paghihinagpis, halos magwala na ako sa kinatatayuan ko.
He promised me! Paano na ang pangako? Akala ko ba magpapakasal pa kami sa simbahan kung saan din nagpakasal ang mga magulang niya? Akala ko ba sa pasko na iyon? What the hell is this? I couldn't accept it! They're just lying! Primiel won't leave me! He said that, he won't leave me again anymore so what's this? Why? How about the family we are dreaming of? How about me now? Please, no. Wake me up! I don't want to hear this! I don't wanna see him. God, I can't. My heart is dying as well and can no longer find myself where.
"Sovie!" I heard Kraig behind me.
Mabilis ko siyang nilingon, lumapit siya sa akin at niyakap ako. I felt the sudden pull in my arm that made me gasp so deep, mabilis akong nagmulat ng mga mata at agad napaupo habang marahas ang paghahabol ng hininga.
"Sovie, Sovie!" Kraig called in a high deep voice as he shook my shoulders.
Nanlalaki ang mga mata ko at ginala ang paningin sa silid, what was that fucking nightmare!? Umiiyak at hingal akong naibalik sa aking reyalidad habang walang mapaglagyan ang nerbyos, takot at sakit sa loob ng dibdib ko na hindi ko maikalma. I cried hysterically while scanning the room to see where's Primiel, I am already panicking in my own thoughts.
"W-Where's Primiel! Let me see him!" I cried.
I can't believe I had that nightmare but possible in my reality.
Kraig immediately hugged me tightly. I wriggled from him and pushed him with all my strength but it came out so weak. Binaon niya ang mukha ko sa kanyang dibdib at mabilis hinagod ang aking likuran.
"Shhh." he hushed softly while comforting me with his embrace. "Shh, it's okay... it's okay. Calm down, breathe."
Suminghap ako at umiling, tinangka kong alisin ang suwerong nakatusok sa aking kamay at nagwala muli kay Kraig. Bumukas ang pinto at nakita kong pumasok si Ametrine na nag-alala agad nang makita akong nagpupumiglas at malakas na umiiyak.
"Calm down, Sovie." banayad niyang sinabi at lumapit.
"He died!?" I cried in vain. "Nasaan siya, bakit hindi n'yo sabihin?"
Hindi ako mapakali mula sa bangungot ko kanina, my knees and arms are still trembling in nervous and emotional pain.
"He's fine." ani Kraig, halatang may masabi lang. Pinakawalan niya ako pero nanatili ang paghagod sa likuran ko.
Umiling ako at tinulak siya pero hindi natinag doon, Ametrine looks so worried. She couldn't even look at me straightly.
"Nasaan nga!? I need to see him! Please, take me to him! I wanna see him now!"
I saw Raiel Alarcon on the doorway, nakapamulsa ang isang kamay habang nakasandal ang braso at nakahilig sa pintuan na halos abutin na ng tangkad ang door frame. He's watching me frigidly, nang magkatinginan kami ay nagtaas siya ng kilay. Suminghap ako at lumiit ang mga hikbi, pinakalma ko ang sariling pag-iyak.
