Chapter 8

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"Pay?" I woke up to the soft and raspy sound of the tan boy lying next to me. I rolled over gently and I felt an arm wrap around my waist. I smiled to myself, knowing I had Zayn to myself.

We weren't official techinically, but after last night, I'm pretty sure Zayn felt the same way I did. At least I hoped so.

"Yeah?" I replied after finally remembering that Zayn had said my name. I looked into his dark eyes and he smiled at me.

"Good morning, beautiful." Zayn whispered before he leaned in for a light peck. Things were perfect.

That was until I remembered my mom was in the hospital.

Zayn must have noticed my change in moods because he took my face in his hands forcing me to look at him.

"Payton, listen to me. You will get through this. Your mum will get through this. She's strong, and I know you're strong. And on days that you just can't handle it, I'll be there. I promise, even if I'm accross the world working I will be there to listen. You can count on me, okay?"

Was this even real? I've been in love with this boy for so long now and now that I finally have him here with me I feel as if I'm still not happy. I feel ungrateful.

"I feel so ungrateful. I have you here with me and it's all I've ever wanted. And now that you're here it's like I'm still not fully satisfied and I don't know what to do about it."

"Are you kidding me?! You just found out your mother has Cancer. I don't think any normal person would be happy right now. Don't feel ungrateful, because you're far from it."

I rested my head on Zayn's chest and sighed.

"Do you ever think back to how things were when we were little? Like before everything happened and before you auditioned for X-Factor?" I asked him while playing with the collar of his shirt.

"All the time. Sure, I miss how things used to be. Every single day. I think about you all the time Payton. And I regret everything that happened. I know I was stupid, but I was a kid. A stupid kid. I couldn't see what I had right in front of me."

"Then why didn't you call me? Why did you wait until now to come find me? I've lived in the same house all my life. You know that." For some reason I started getting angry. Why was Zayn making excuses?

"You don't think I wanted to just come and knock on your door every time I was in town?! I wanted too so bad Payton you wouldn't even believe. I never did because I thought maybe you had moved on and forgot. It's been five years Payton. That's a long time. Normally people don't get in contact again after not speaking for so long."

"You don't get it do you? Every single day since we stopped talking I have had this ache in my heart because I care about you so much. Every single day since you left me I've wanted you near me again. It's all I ever wanted. Every single day."

"I guess I part of me just hoped you had forgotten about me. It would be easier on me if I never had to cross paths with you again. Because if I did, I would fall in love with you all over again."

Fall in love with me? Zayn was in love with me? I took in a deep breath and looked out the window. The sun was shining bright and it temporarily blinded me. I had to look away and Zayn caught my gaze. 

"Payton, you're my best friend. You always have been. Not talking to you was the hardest thing I've ever done." 

With that, Zayn pulled me in and kissed me. The kiss was filled with longing and desperation. It was different than our other kisses. This one felt more real. It was filled with more emotion. 

Everything inside of me came alive in that moment. I felt butterflies floating in my stomach and fireworks in my head. I know that sounds cheesy, but it was true.

No matter how many times Zayn had hurt me in the past, he always remained in my heart.

"I love you." I whispered after pulling away from the kiss and resting my forehead onto Zayn's.

"I love you too." Zayn whispered before kissing me again.

***

A few hours later I had to go pick up Neya to go visit my mum. I was scared. I didn't want to look at her because I knew I would break down immediately. The lump in my throat was not going away any time soon.

Every time I thought about my mother lying there, hopeless, in that hospital room it broke my heart into pieces. The doctor wouldn't let anyone in to see her until now. I got a call about a half hour ago. 

I was shaking as I pulled into the hospital parking garage with Neya sitting next to me.

"Is Mommy going to be okay?" My little sister asked. I looked at her and I let a tear escape me. She was so innocent. Why did this weight have to be put on top of her little shoulders? It wasn't fair.

"I don't know, Ney." I whispered. I felt her climb on top of my lap and give me a hug. She kissed my forehead and hugged me tight.

"Don't cry, sissy." I hugged her back just as tight.

I don't know how things could get any more complicated. I finally got Zayn to be mine. It felt great. I've wanted to call him mine for so long now, and now I finally could. On the other hand, however, my mother has Cancer. 

My mother could be dying. Today I would find out if they caught it in time or if there was no hope. I had been praying all morning ever since Zayn left. All I wanted was to be able to have my mom be there on my wedding day, and for her to watch me and Neya grow up. 

I knew she wanted that too. I was so scared. I held myself together though because I knew I had too for Neya. 

*beep* beep*

I looked down at my phone and saw a new text message.

Zayn: you can do this, i love you. call me when you're done. xx

I smiled. Zayn always knew how to make me feel better. 

Hopefully he could make me feel better after what the doctor was about to tell me.

"Are you Payton Grimshaw?" The tall man in the white coat asked me. I nodded as I started to shake.

"Come with me, please." 

The man lead me to an office and sat me down.

"I don't really know how to say this. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear coming in here today. However, I'm afraid we didn't catch your mother's Cancer in time. We will do our best to stop it, but as of right now it looks like your mother only has six months to live."

I froze.

*

Hey guys! Thank you for reading! I'm sorry if this chapter was kind of boring. I felt like while I was writing it kind of felt like it was going on and on even though it wasn't. I love it when you guys comment, so please comment telling me what you thought of the chapter! If you are going to say "update" in a comment please leave something telling me what you like or dislike too! I need your feedback! Also, I won't be updating until I hit 2,000 reads! So please please please share this story with your friends if you guys like it! Thank you so much to everyone who has voted, commented, or even just read. It means a lot to me that you guys enjoy my writing. I would love it if you guys helped me get this story out there more. I love writing it and all of the feedback I have gotten so far has been positive. Don't be afraid to give me criticizm! It won't offend me at all! Just please remember I have feelings so don't be rude! Haha. Love you all and again thank you for reading and supporting it means so much! Share, vote, comment, read, whatever! Thanks! xo

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