Psycho (Under Editing)

Chapter Twenty-Four ♪ May Thirty-First

He had a file. I didn't know why, but he had one. I sat in my new room, a towel wrapped up around my hair.

He had a file with his name on it. Jess Andrew it read. I kept telling myself that it could have been someone else with the same exact name. But my brain was shouting out blasphemy, and I had to listen.

I had his stolen file kept in my cupboard next to the crime scene tape I had kept and the little black box. I had it waiting for me with my valuables as I questioned whether or not I should look into it. I didn't want to betray him, it felt as though I was butting into his privacy, but there was a small part of me that was curious. I also couldn't help the doubt that start to circulate in my mind.

I knew I couldn't do that to him, so I sighed, removed the towel and dropped my head against the bed rest. I'd have to wait for him to tell me. I pulled my phone off charge and unlocked it. There were a few messages from my parents and Lexy, none from Wes, thankfully and a picture from Jess.

I frowned, wondering what it was that he sent me, so I quickly tapped into his chat. It was a picture of his shoes on these metal stair things, with a caption telling me where he was going. I smiled besides myself, I really missed him.

Jess - I'm on my way Babe. I love you❤

I read the message and frowned, sitting up on the bed, that was like five hours ago. And when I looked closer to the picture I realised that those stairs were from an airport. He couldn't be coming here. I didn't want him here. Not when I just began healing, not when ... when I had his file. Not when my mind was being haunted by what I did to Wes. I was unfaithful, and facing him would have made it a lot worse.

I silently closed the phone, wishing Gabby would speak. I needed something to ground me, even if it was Gabby's insufferable orders and OCD. I sat there, just hoping she'd say something, but she didn't. She was as silent as a dead corpse. I looked to my right, to the bedside table. Doc had given me these pills, I had to take one every morning and before bed.

I was back on the medication again, I guessed that she put them in my food during my asylum stay, because Gabby was silent. I did feel drained, but I was not quite sure why. Still though, I couldn't get my eyes to close. Gabby wasn't there to stop my nightmares.

I rolled my eyes at myself. I became so dependant on a lifeless voice. I had a knack for that. I find someone and I never let them go. No matter the guilt, and no matter how much I would try to distance myself. I always wanted them to stay close by.

I was crazy. I got why my parents sent me here. They knew me better than I knew myself. So they'd have known that I wasn't stable anymore, not like I ever was.

A few pent up frustrated tears escaped. I was angry at myself. I wasn't strong enough to fix myself. I depended on others and if I didn't get their love I felt like nothing. I was pathetic.

And the more I thought about it, the more the tears came. But in the midst of all that I heard the faintest shuffle and then my doorbell went off.

I froze, my tears clogging up my throat. I didn't know who it could me, Doc usually just walks in as she has a key. It was already eleven in the night.

The door bell went off again, a bad and dangerous feeling settled in my stomach. I gently got off the bed, trying not to make a sound. The guest house was pretty small, so they, whoever it was, could easily hear me.

I tip toed towards the door, when the bell went off again. I needed to pee suddenly,. Y nerves dancing around my stomach and bladder. I stood staring at the door, not breathing , when finally my stiff fingers clasped the cold door handle.

And before the bell could ring again I yanked the door open, ready to be attacked. I wouldn't go down without a fight.

But it wasn't anyone dangerous. It was my Jess. My beautiful beautiful Jess. His black hair was gelled messily. He had a pair of black sweat pants and a white shirt. He was looking at me like I gave him back his air. Like I was it for him.

I couldn't think straight. I wanted nothing more than to hug him, cuddle him, kiss him, rip those clothes off from him and to tell him how much I loved him, to show him how much I loved him. But I didn't, why? I thought of the file and of Wes.

So I stood there, tears dripping down my face. He gave me an alarmed look and rushed in, shutting the door behind him. In an instant his bag was on the floor and I was in his arms. "I missed you." He whispered. "Why are you crying?" He asked, kissing my forehead as he wiped away my tears.

"I-I love you s-so much." I choked out between my sobs. "But you shouldn't love me." I cried harder, grabbing my head into my hands, trying to wriggle out of his grip.

"What happened baby? Tell me." He asked, cupping my face, his own eyes glistened over. I knew he hated seeing me like this. But this was the real me, even I hated it.

"I did something bad." I couldn't stand looking at him. He frowned, I noticed the nervous tick in his left eyebrow flare up.

"What was it? I am sure it isn't that big." I shook my head. I could feel it, taste it, it was guilt.

"I did something bad. You are going to hate me for it." He dropped his hands, wrapping his cold fingers around mine.

"Tell me." He said gently, kissing the crook of my neck. I tried fighting the tingles that shot through me from that action, but it came. And I didn't deserve it.

"I kissed Wes." I cringed, closed my eyes and held my breath. Waiting for a reaction. I was even hoping for a slap. But there was none. I peeked from under my eyelashes. He was just standing there, calmly.

"I know." He said with a sigh. I froze.

"You what?!" I asked, shaking really badly from my nerves, Jess noticed this and began to rub circles on my hands with his thumbs.

"Wes told me. He also told me that you looked scared after you did it. You both regret it." I gulped.

"What?" I asked, barely above a whisper, I didn't think he'd see that.

"I forgive you Babe. I know you were going through some things. Believe when I say, I have been where you are now." And there it was, the doorway.

♪Author's Note♪

Wazzup peeps, it's your girl El♥ here. I am going to be honest, I haven't been doing all that well lately. Not in the sick type of way, but in depression and anxiety. My nails can vouch for that.

I guess I am scared of the new year. I mean every person who regrets being alive would, ya know? But I am working through my problems. *grins*

I just want to let you guys know, that I am always here if you want to talk, about anything really. I might not know exactly what you are going through, but I am always there to support.

Again, here is an apology for being offline for so long, no WiFi.🤦🏻🤦🏻

This chapter is dedicated to LauraMay_Us and enthralledreader for being such amazing friends. Thanks guys♥♥♥

♪Questions♪

1. Would you have looked into the file?

2. What do you think is in the file?

3. Do you guys trust Jess?

4. Would you forgive your other half if they kissed someone in that situation?

Feel free to leave your answers in the comment section.

Enjoy. Vote. Comment. Ellipsis167