Decadence [Published]

Chapter 70

Chapter 70

Apparently, we live in a small world where coincidences are much more likely to happen if you choose to stay afloat and different. We’ve been informed that opposites attract, but don’t ever forget the existence of rules that generate a certain exception. I’ve realized a lot of things, and one of them is the certainty that we only live by chances.

We have to learn to accept that sometimes, we can’t force our will on nature. We may have given a small amount of control over something, but that doesn’t mean we’re to act superiorly. I’ve always questioned myself before. Do I always have to suck it up if something doesn’t go my way? Choices are to be made, sure, but sometimes, the best choice won’t even make you happy.

“Mukhang malalim ang iniisip mo, ah?”

Nilingon ko ang isa sa mga maituturing kong tapat at totoong kaibigan. Sino bang mag-aakala na makakatagpo pa ako ng mga kaibigang babae matapos ang namagitan sa aming dalawa ni Rhys Cervantez? Inaamin kong nawalan na ako ng tiwala sa kahit sinong babae noon. The sincerest girls are said to be rare, and I’ve proven that it’s true.

Sadly, kung sino pa iyong madalas nating iwasan at layuan noong una, it turns out that they’re the best among anyone else. Ang problema kasi sa atin ngayon ay mas nagpapauna tayo sa takot at pagdududa, without giving someone the benefit of the doubt. We always choose to think of the worst-case scenario first. Ngunit sa tingin ko ay normal na iyon. People have lived different lives.

And some choices are evoked by the scare of past experiences.

Inirapan ko si Mims habang abala ako sa pagsimsim sa in-order kong strawberry milkshake. Nandito kami ngayon sa Clarine’s Bakeshop dahil nag-aya siyang lumabas upang mag-chill out. Hindi rin naman ako nakatanggi sapagkat wala rin akong plano for this day. Matteo and I—we’ve both decided to lie low to avoid further possible complications.

We have to remain unseen together for a long period of time. Wala akong ideya kung hanggang kailan namin kailangang gawin ito. I just figure that this time, dapat ay makinig naman ako sa kanyang kagustuhan. Matteo never fails to take my words into consideration now. It warms my heart knowing that he’s truly in for this. However, his mood swings can sometimes really get to him.

Humugot ng isang malalim na hininga si Mims.

“What’s up?” Ngumisi ako.

She and Tripp are probably going through rough patches. Bihira ko lang naman kasi makitang nababagabag itong si Mims, at madalas, iyong isang France ang dahilan. It’s funny how the universe seems to be contemptuous. Masasabi kong tunay ngang mapaglaro ang tadhana. Sometimes, they give you options that aren’t merely considered as options.

Tinitigan akong mabuti ni Mims sa mga mata. Kitang-kita kong tila hindi siya mapakali. Sigurado ako na kung anuman ang nais niyang sabihin sa akin ngayon ay ganoon na lamang iyon kabigat para sa kanya. If not, maybe it’s just because the topic is uncomfortable for her. Sumandal ako sa upuan at humalukipkip. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin sa akin. This girl is too young for a France kind of world.

Kung tutuusin ay pareho lang naman kami ng naging kapalaran sa puder ng mga France, e. Nagkataong mas malakas lang ako’t may kakayahang tumayo sa sariling mga paa. Matteo really was something else. Dumaan na kami pareho sa maraming pagsubok at panahon na ang humulma sa aming mga pagkatao. I can be both mature and immature—depende sa kung ano gustong kong makuha.

Napakamot sa ulo si Mims. My gaze followed the slightest movement. Namataan ko ang kulay purple na hairclip sa kanyang buhok. This girl’s the paragon of a purple maniac, I’m telling you. Maging ang suot niyang sundress ay sinuri ko na rin tuloy. Umiling ako. I shouldn’t be even focusing on those irrelevant details. I should feel more concerned with her apparently numbing thoughts.