The Freak (mxm)

Chapter 9: Even sickos can get sick

"The question is not how to get cured, but how to live" (Joseph Conrad)

NOUR'S POV

The exact moment I ask Rémy why he wanted to see me, Renan starts walking in our direction with two beers in in his hands. Rémy curses and quickly gives me a small enveloppe, gesturing for me to hide it in my cloak. I can't help but feel satisfied at the idea that he doesn't tell his boyfriend everything. It's a very childish thought, especially when his boyfriend obviously knows him much more than I will ever do. It makes me feel a bit sad. I don't think I'll ever be this close to anyone again.

But that's fine. I'm not a people person, unlike the bubbly little thing sitting in front of me. I low-key understand why Rémy fell in love with him. Renan looks like the kind of sunny person who always brings joy wherever he goes. They are probably in a healthy, loving relationship - which is more than I could ever give to someone.

"So, you're Amine's little brother, right?", Renan asks me with a friendly smile. Does he even stops smiling?

"Yup. Although it's not the main reason for my ever-increasing popularity"

"Oh. What it is, then?"

Play it nice, Nour. I thought you wanted Rémy to like you, even a little?

"It's simple really. I'm a man-whore."

Well done, Nour. Why are you always like this? Don't make yourself even freakier than you already are.

Renan starts laughing, but his laugh quickly fades in front of my dead-serious expression. There's a silence and I can tell that Renan is uncomfortable. Rémy sighs and starts questionning Renan about his day, while rubbing his thigh in a soothing way. They speak between them for a few minutes, ignoring me completely until Renan gets up. He kisses his boyfriend tenderly on the lips before turning to me:

"I have to go, I'm actually working tonight. It was a pleasure meeting you, Nour."

"The pleasure was definitely shared."

He nodds with an hesitant expression, probably wondering if I'm making fun of him - which I am, duh, before grabbing his bag and walking toward the front door. The minute he's gone, Rémy's eyes fall on me, making me suddenly feel like a trapped animal.

He must be so mad. I wait for his next venomenous words, but he suprises me when he grabs his bottle of beer instead, looking content with sipping it in silence. He doesn't say anything, looking quite pensive and I am the one to break the silence.

"Look", I start, "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Oh, come on, are you drunk already? I didn't want to be rude. I'm sorry for what I said to little Yoann."

"His name is Renan. Can't you remember a single name? Besides, it doesn't matter."

"Oh, so you're not mad?"

"No, I'm not. I don't care what you said"

"Why is that so?"

I don't know why I'm still asking. I must be a bit of a masochist. I know probably won't like his answer, but I still ask. He is gonna tell me that he couldn't care less about me, so it doesn't matter what I do or say, as long as he doesn't get to see me too often. He is going to tell me that everyone - his boyfriend included- already knows that I'm an obnoxious little b-

"I don't care, because I think most of the time you don't speak your mind" he explains with a casual tone and I almost choke on what's left of my drink in surprise. "Nobody knows what the real Nour thinks."