The Freak (mxm)

Chapter 12: The Meeting - Part 1

REMY'S POV

When I finally return to the bedroom and lie down on the bed, Renan immediately attaches himself to me like a koala. I try to pry him off me by reflex, then reluctantly hug him back when he looks at me with a hurt expression. 

"You don't love me at all, do you?" he whines.

I mentally sigh. That again. 

"I do. It's just that I don't like the whole spooning thing, at least not when I'm so fucking tired and just want to sleep. I know it sounds harsh but I swear - "

"Say no more", Renan cuts me off, giving me a pout. I try to hide my irritation at the gesture. I used to find it so cute, so why does it annoy me so much now? "You don't love me, that's all", he insists, "otherwise you would be more touchy with me. How can you not like spooning? Every couple does it".

"There's no such general rules, Renan. Every couple is different. Just because I don't always like to be touched doesn't mean I love you less" I clarify.  "Sorry if I don't fit with your mental picture of the Charming Prince." I add bitterly. 

"You're mad, aren't you?" he mumbles. "Just because I like to cuddle - "

"That's not why I'm mad", I interrupt, which is fair game since he keeps interrupting me too. 

"Why?"

"You know why I am mad, Renan"

"Don't tell me it's because of your stinky roomate. Why are we always arguing over him?"

"We wouldn't be constantly arguing over him, much less talking about him, if you weren't constantly nagging him. Why can't you leave him be? I heard you two perfectly, you know I have a pretty good hearing"

"If you heard everything, then you should know he was the one at fault" he retorts, sounding offended. "He said I was moaning like a little bitch"

"I know he is equally at fault" I sigh, pinching the brink of my nose between as I fight back a yawn. "But I'm talking to you right now. Why did you have to mention what happened in the dojo last time? That was supposed to stay between us". 

"I'm sorry, I forgot"

"You get mad at me for not wanting to cuddle but then I find out you can't even keep a secret? Aren't lovers supposed to be able to trust each other? You're all talk and no actions, Renan. A wise man once said there is no love, only proofs of love"

We both stay silent for a while, none of us wanting to appologize. I'm slowly drifting off to sleep, when I hear soft sniffs, making me turn toward my boyfriend. 

"Oh, Renan, we should stop fighting over petty things like that" I whisper, petting his hair soothingly as he starts hiccupping. 

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have said that to Nour. It's just - He's always so strong and confident and I'm afraid you're secretly having feelings for him, even though he's an asshole" he confesses, refusing to look at me in the eyes. 

"I don't love him" I assure him firmly. "He's just my best friend's little brother. And I've told you already, physical strenght isn't everything. Nour is probably not as strong as you think he is. Besides, I love you with all your flaws and insecurities, as I've told you countless times"

He nods, giving me a small peck on the lips and throws his arm around my midsection, quickly falling asleep. I look down at him and while I have to admit he does look cute and all, somehow holding him in my arms doesn't feel natural. What's wrong with me? I think guiltily. Why am I such a crappy boyfriend? I eventually fall asleep with many unanswered questions.