A Wolf and A Lion || Jaime Lannister Love Story

Chapter 32 - Flowers vs. Mountains

     The festivities of the tournament had continued to its second day. A knock on the door woke Aurelia and Jaime, and he opened it to reveal Aurelia's handmaiden standing across to inform them that Ned Stark wishes to see her daughter before the tourney began. Jaime had no right to go against Ned's orders when it comes to Aurelia, and he excused the handmaiden soon after that. The two bathed and cleaned before Aurelia dressed in her usual gown, and Jaime in his Kingsguard armor.

"Why did you leave the tourney early yesterday? You left after the first tilt." Jaime asked her as they ate their breakfast in the balcony.

"I felt no desire to continue watching after Ser Hugh was killed right beneath me. He didn't deserve to die." Aurelia replied, after swallowing the piece of toast she had been eating.

"It's a tournament. Accidents and deaths are prone to happen." Jaime told her,

"I know. I just couldn't watch it any longer." Aurelia said, getting uncomfortable talking about her fear. Only her parents, including Robb and Jon knew about it and they never teased her for it. She thought that if people knew that small detail about her, they'll perceive Aurelia as weak and that was the last thing she wanted.

"Afraid of the blood? Can't blame you. All women are queasy when it comes to it." Jaime opined,

"Why would women be afraid of blood? We see it more than anyone." Aurelia pointed out rather obviously. Her dislike towards death did not originate from her fear of seeing blood, and she thought that to be ridiculous. "Seeing blood coming out of Ser Hugh's neck is not the reason I stopped watching the tourney." She continued to say, which made Jaime's head churn with theories.

They grew silent once more, the only sound coming from the scrap of knives against the toasted bread as they smeared jam and butter on it. Then suddenly, the thought hit Jaime like a truck and his head immediately look up from his food to face Aurelia properly.

"You're afraid of death." Jaime deduced, and Aurelia was taken aback by his words. She instantly stopped her actions once she heard him. Aurelia's mouth was left open, afraid to look at him because he was telling the truth. "I saw your expression that day when Robert asked you to tell him about your first experience watching death, and then you didn't want to continue watching the tourney after Ser Hugh died, and since you are not afraid of blood...there can only be one thing."

Jaime began to explain the reason behind his statement as Aurelia listened on. All this time she believed that the reason as to why she hates death was because she cannot watch it without an exceedingly dreadful feeling washing through her. She asks her father in search of answers, simply due to the fact that she did not want to admit her true fear. All this time she's known it, but she never acknowledged it; too afraid that if she does, it will all become too real.

"I'm not afraid of death." Aurelia nervously tried to deny it, but Jaime can see right through her. "I'm afraid of seeing one." She added,

"How do you cope watching someone's life; an innocent life at that be taken away from them just because he decided he wanted to compete in a tourney. Ser Gregor could have unhorsed him easily, but he chose to kill Ser Hugh. How can you not feel the slightest bit harrowing to see someone helplessly die, and there is nothing you could do about it?" Aurelia confided in him about the events of the tourney that left Aurelia unable to watch. "Maybe I am afraid of death, but I hate seeing someone die right in front of you more." She added, and this time it was Jaime who listen.

"You'll get used to it once you see it often." Jaime told her, "It's not graceful and it is definitely not a beautiful sight. I know better than most. I've seen my own men die in the battlefield as if years of training them went up in smokes. I've seen innocent people die the most horrific deaths, and hear their screams as it pains every single bone in my body. And yes, the worst part of it all is that there is nothing we can do. You have to understand that sometimes there isn't. It is still an unpleasant feeling to watch people die, but the feeling afterwards will subside as time goes by."