HONEY
DEMISE
SOMEHOW, RAESUN MANAGED to convince her mother into letting her "stay at a friend's house for a girl's night" i.e sleeping in jeongguk's bed with the jazz record playing and citrus scent tempting. she giggled into the kiss between the two of them as he smiled against her lips, arms clutching the smaller girl as if she would fly out the window to play amongst the stars. neither wanted to leave the safety of that bed, that room, or even that kiss (which to anyone would be seen as cheesy).
there was just something about the duvet that covered them from the monsters under bed frame, the acrylic stains on the wooden desk and paintbrushes, the way their joint mouths formed bliss and sweet epiphanies.
raesun pouted as the other pulled away, still locked in his embrace. he tucked a stray curl behind her ear, "moonlight suits you just as much as sunshine," he whispered, a hint of lovestruck to his eyes.
"what's with all the compliments recently?" she smiled while speaking in the same soft–spoken tone.
there was something sad upon his face, however.
she could tell from how his gaze left her eyes to the pale pink handprint on her face. raesun could tell he tried to control his anger from looking at the mark, but could read him better than any old book — an inferno had always brewed inside his heart, but a new rage had sparked and it proved to her how much he cared about her.
or maybe, it was a rage reawakened that she never had the opportunity to witness before. the group had clearly known yoongi's twin, hana, before so perhaps this was re–eliciting the past they all tried so hard to keep to themselves.
"i never thought she'd come back," jeongguk was the obstacle to halt her train of thought, then staring at the open window with drifting curtains from a small breeze, "let alone scare you, or hurt you for that matter."
"i–i'm not scared," who was she kidding? after the wicked girl had left, raesun collapsed onto the leather couch in tears, wondering if hana would come back with a weapon next time — it wouldn't surprise her.
jeongguk sighed at that, pulling her closer as her head snuggled into the crook of his neck. she hadn't seen him paint for a while, but could still smell the pigment on him with the undertone of cigarettes and a mask of cologne. colours had always radiated through him, from the paint–slick canvases to the ink roaming his body, spectrums of rebellion tatted on his cocaine heart.
a stray finger of hers traced the dove tattoo, the detail of neat feathers and wide spread wings making it artwork upon artwork, "does the dove have a meaning behind it?"
she felt him smile against her black curls, "more so a story than a meaning," raesun continued to trace the innocent bird and the sunbeams in the background, finding some sort of solace from it, "my parents they... they died, rae. a long time ago."
she stopped.
not once had he even tried to mention this part of his tough past. she knew, of course, it wasn't all daffodils and rainbows, but she never connected the dots to wonder why he lived with his grandma and never had seen his parents. after all, she didn't want to break him down for selfish answers or keep pondering about something that in all honesty had nothing to do with her.
to put it short, she was shocked he said it so... suddenly.
pulling away from his hold, she rested on her elbow to look and find his eyes glossed over, tongue pressed against his cheek, "do you want to tell this story? because i don't mind, either way."
he shook his head, "no, i want to. need to, actually. i... i've only told jimin and everyone, and even then i only briefly mentioned it," jeongguk bit at his lip to try and keep those waves of tears at bay, but raesun knew the dam would break in short time.
she didn't care that he cried — boys cry too, and that's perfectly fine.
"i was eight at the time. ma and pa were adrenaline junkies, always off doing stupid things to have fun — running from the police and their own parents were the goal. pa had a knack for illegal racing: won a load of them and ma always celebrated when he came home with the money. after i was born, she made him stop until they were stable enough. eventually, they got tired of trying to settle down as a family. it was my eighth birthday when they took me to the tracks; it was my eighth birthday when the car crashed and they died."
by the end of his tale, raesun stared in shock at the boy in front of her. the streaks of molten stars ran down each cheek, her thumbs reaching out to wipe away the remnants and arms beckoning him forward. his hands gripped her, or rather his, shirt with such desperation for love and gratitude for being listened to.
and her own held his heart, open palms to gladly receive the beating organ before it fell into those of death.
"my grandmama took me in when no one else would, and she had never ever seen me before," jeongguk mumbled, sobs almost foreign coming from his cracked lips, "she is my dove, my ma and pa all in one. she saved me long ago from the streets, but i failed her."
jeongguk cried the entirety of that night.
— 杏 —
