Chapter 30: Part Three

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Part 3

"If you wanna see the video we did on her channel just click her face. Yeah, that's right. Molest her face with that mouse" we laugh.

"Well, ok. like Subscribe and I'll see you next week" I cover the camera and turn it off.

I sit back next to Violet and sigh.

"What's wrong now. Are you still thinking about it?" She whines and I nod.

"I think I should do it" I look at her and she rubs her temples.

"If it's what you want to do, then I guess go for it but don't forget the other person's feelings. He can hurt really bad" she says and I groan.

"I know that Violet! Why do you think this is so hard for me. I don't think you understand why I'm going to, do you?" I get frustrated and she sighs.

"I do. I get every part of it but I'm just warning you. It will hurt both of you. Maybe even all of us. You remember how he got when you were with Matthew. Did you know that he was thinking suicidedly?" she says and a tear rolls down my face.

"Was that supposed to help me! What the fuck Violet!" I yell at her, getting up, throwing the chair across the room and walked out of the room into the kitchen.

I grab a glad of water and sit on the counter, resting my head in my hands.

I look to my right and see the prescription pills Lynn takes.

Maybe that will make everything better.

Would I die?

Who cares! it's probably better for every one if I did just die.

I quickly grab the pills, opening it and then pouring a handful in my hands.

I grab my water and hold my hand up to my face so I can swallow all of them.

But I don't because

"Kayla! What the fuck!" Violet runs over to me. grabbing pills out of my hand, puts them back in the container and puts it in her pocket.

She's probably going to hide those later.

I look at her blankly as she yells at me.

"What the hell were you thinking! Are you trying to kill yourself!" she yells lastly and I slowly nod my head but then break down crying.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I cry into my hands and she hugs me.

"Come on, let's take you to bed" she says and I nod, getting up and walking to my room very zombie like.

I lay down and cuddle into my blankets as I hear Violet take down the camera.

"I'll help you. I promise" she says before exiting the room. With my laptop.

Grrrr.

But I'm not mad long as sleep takes over me.

I dream about some of the most horrible things.

About my funeral. Jack crying his eyes out as he watches me dead, lying lifeless and pale in the casket. He blames himself but even my dead self knows it wasn't him that made me end up this way.

It was myself.

*

*

*

I woke up panting. My eyes still drooped, telling me that I was still tired.

I sighed, closing my eyes, hearing Violet talk.

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