Stay With Me (Come Back to Me #2)

Chapter 42

Justin

Time is going by too fast.

It's like I blink and it's suddenly Valentine's Day. Two more weeks until I'm due in Vancouver – no. Just under two weeks. I have to arrive two days early for a bunch of pre-surgery shit. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared or nervous, and I don't mean scared of the surgery. Addie's right – I've done that before, I can do it again. Recovery is the worst part, but I think I can handle it.

It's the unknown I'm terrified of. All these stupid questions I can't answer. Like: Is the surgery going to work this time? It's something I'm not going to know until after. I hate it.

Two good things, however, have come out of this. First of all, Mom managed to have her lawyer swap dates with my father. Meaning, Chris is going to be coming to Vancouver the week of surgery. Minus the surgery portion, he's excited to come. He's never been to Vancouver and he can't wait to see the city. I'll admit, I'm a bit jealous – just once, I want to see the city, maybe even go to a Canucks game, without even having to think about BC Children's Hospital. But I'm happy for him and Mom. Just because I'm in the hospital, doesn't mean I don't want them to go out and have some fun. I'm going to be coming in and out of consciousness for the majority of my stay, so what's the point of them hanging around me?

Secondly, Addie is coming. With the help of Sophia (though Addie told me her parents would've allowed her to come anyway), Addie managed to strike a deal with her parents. Her and her mom are coming down for four days. They would stay longer, but the restaurant needs to be kept running and Addie's dad can't do that when he also coaches Jake and Alex's hockey team. Addie apologized profusely to me, saying she wanted to stay longer, but I shook my head and told her it was fine – even in relationships, some aspects of our lives are still separate. I'm not about to ruin a job that Addie loves.

After a quick shower, I throw on some casual clothes – jeans, a T-shirt, and a thicker sweater for the bonfire at Zander's house. Mom's dropping me off at 4:30. I'm a little nervous – I'll admit that much. I've never been to a party like this. A high school party that involves alcohol, no chaperones, and freedom. I don't know what I'm supposed to do at these things. Plus, I feel like I'm not going to fit in all that well. I can't drink because of the meds I'm on. I have to stay around the people that know (I promised Mom I would). I also have to bring my nighttime dose of meds with me in case Addie and I stay late.

Cons aside, I'm still happy that I get to go at least; that I don't have to be the one that misses out on every opportunity.

Suddenly, there's a knock at my door.

"Come in," I shout.

Mom enters my bedroom. "Are you ready to go? It's 4:15."

I nod. It takes about fifteen minutes to get from my house to the Rose Valley area where Zander lives. He actually lives a couple blocks away from Addie. I grab my iPhone and stuff it in my pocket. "Yeah – let's go."

I take a step toward the door, but she doesn't move, causing me to stop. She's staring at me. It's a strange stare, one that I'm not entirely used to. "What?" I ask.

Mom smiles. "You're a lot happier."

Even though she's right and has a point, I shrug. If anyone who knew me were to compare both pre-surgery attitudes, they'd notice a major difference. The fact that I have people who can still like me for who I am makes a big difference. The first time, I had family members that played me, friends that left me behind, and I ended up feeling alone in this world. Not that I'm stealing any away from my mom, who devoted a lot of her time to looking after me even after all the shit she went through. I love my mom, but sometimes you need stability with both family and friends.

Now? I have Addie and her family, Zander, Nadira, Jacey, and my mom and Chris. And it feels good...like I'm no longer missing a large part of my life.

"So?" I ask.

Without warning, Mom pulls me into a hug. "I'm proud of you," she whispers. "Deciding to give it one more try. I love you, honey."

I suppress a snort. Just like the first time, I don't really have a choice. The tumour needs to come out. End of story. But if that's how Mom views it, then I'll let her have it. "Thanks, Mom," I murmur, hugging her back. "I love you, too."

She pulls away, eyes glistening with tears. With a deep breath, she smiles and tells me she'll go get the car warmed up.

I finish getting ready, though there's not much left for me to do. I basically just grab my leather jacket that Addie has told me she loves multiple times.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, as I step out of my bedroom, I catch my reflection in the hallway mirror. I stop in surprise.

I look...different.

My hair is longer, I'm not as pale as I was when we first moved here, and my own eyes don't look empty. Also, I've filled out a little more; I'm not as skinny. But in a good way. I've packed on some muscle and gained a bit of weight, looking more like the person I was before everything happened, only taller.

I can't stop myself from smiling.

It's been a long time since I've felt happy for this long, and I like it.

I like it a lot.