Running Away from the Billionaire (LOB series #4)

Chapter 35

KLAUS

"What's up?" Demitri asked as he sits in front of me. I asked him if he could come because I needed someone to talk to. I need someone who could knock some sense out of me. "Where's Riona?"

"Upstairs. Sleeping." I replied before I took a sip from the glass of whiskey in my hand. I know he's waiting for me to start talking but I fucking don't know where to fucking start.

"It's about Kaylareen, isn't it?" He asked when I didn't say anything. My chest tightened by the mere sound of her name. I miss her. I miss calling out her name and how she smiles at me in the morning.

"She's... she's leaving tomorrow." I said in a low voice as I remember what she said five days ago. I don't even know how long she'll be gone. I was afraid to ask.

My mind went crazy by just the thought of her leaving with that fucker and all I ever said to her was that she doesn't need to worry... that I'll take care of Riona and such moronic lines. I got mad, afraid, sad—depressed even. All different kinds of emotions in one wave. I didn't know why I didn't beg for her to stay when I know inside the deepest part of my body, it was all I ever wanted to do.

Demitri nodded his head and took his own glass of whiskey.

"Well, good for her." My jaw clenched. "Weren't you the one who fell out of love? She's trying her best to live her life and be happy. You're free of guilt now."

For months, I told him how ashamed I am that I've rejected Kaye. How guilty I feel whenever I look at Riona, thinking that she'll live her life like this. Palitan ng araw kung saan titira, palitan kung kanino sasama. It sucks I know, but Riona always seemed not to care about it. As long as she gets to spend her time with the both of us.

"Want me to be honest?" I wanted to roll my eyes. His mouth is always honest with anyone. Demitri's the realest person you can ever talk to. He always tells you what he thinks, even those shit truths you've been running from.

"Shoot." He took a deep breath. I know that after he's done talking, I'm also fucking done with my life.

"You chased her... for years, right?" I nodded my head.

"Right. Chased her while she fucking chase you." I raised my middle finger at him. He just laughed.

"Absolutely not my fault though. She's my friend and I hate to see my friend hurting." Hindi ako nagsalita. "Before she started chasing me—which is entirely your fault for ignoring her—she liked you first." I didn't need to comment on that. It was obvious that Kaye had a crush on me before.

I poured another whiskey on my glass. Wala akong planong maglasing dahil nasa taas ang anak ko at natutulog. It just felt like I needed something in my system. Something that could make me forget, but I know I won't ever forget.

"Man, when she left you —five years ago—did you made an effort to find her? Yes, you searched for her for a while, but did you really look for her?" Hindi ako nagsalita. We both know the answer. We both know that I did not made any effort. If I did, I'd eventually find her. I'd definitely find out about Riona.  "Haven't you realized that you're the first one who left her when you chose Calla?

Inubos ko ang laman ng baso ko at naglagay ng panibago. Do I really want to hear this? I know I do, but I don't know if I have the courage to hear any more from him. It will kill me... I know it will.

"Tapos ngayon magda-drama ka dahil may ibang lalaki na umaaligid sa kanya? Man." He said while clicking his tongue and shaking his head.

"Madaling sabihin dahil hindi naman ikaw ang nasa sitwasyon ko." He was already shaking his head before I was even done with my sentence.

He doesn't know it... he doesn't fucking know because he's not the one who has a fucking ex who tried to kill her son because of him. He doesn't know because he was never in my fucking shoes.

"You don't get me." He drank from his glass and poured another one. He shook his head. "Why are you being stupid?" He sighed before he started talking again. "Sure, she had her mistakes, but its you who made those decisions—the reason why she left you—it's all on you. You made her leave you by not choosing her. You've let her leave you by not looking for her."

Napahawak ako ng mahigpit sa basong nasa kamay ko. He's right. I'm the reason why she left. I was so stupid to not see what she had been through. Masiyado akong kinain ng kunsensya ko na nakalimutan ko na kung kanino talaga ako uuwi—kung sino talaga ang mahalaga. And I now know the reason why all of this is happening again. All of it, hitting me at my face, all at once. It all made perfect sense.

Natatakot ako na maiwan ulit. I was afraid because no matter what I do, I am always the one who seems to be more in love. I'm always the one who seems desperate for her love. I was afraid because no matter what I do, she can still go on with her life even without me.

"You said, last time, that you're done... that you've had enough of chasing because she doesn't make any effort to stay." I shut my eyes tightly as I remember that night. It was the night Kaye heard me; the night she asked for us to meet... and I fucking broke her. JUST. LIKE. THAT.

"You said you're tired of the chase, but did you really chase her? Because from what I remember and from what you told me, she took the risk. She stayed... even before she realized she loves you. So let me ask you again, did you chase or did she jump?"

I'm done. My life is fucking done because I know he's right.

"Everything happened five years ago and you got her... again. Even cried while telling you how much she loved you." Loved. Fuck. Past tense. Demitri really knows how to slap you with the truth; and truth does really hurt... a lot.

"Do you... do you really think she's over me?" I can't help but to ask him. My throat felt dry as I wait for his answer.

"Hindi ako ang makakasagot ng tanong na yan, maliban nalang kung Kaylareen na ang pangalan ko at naging ina ako ng anak mo." I shook my head. Kadiri. Bad joke. "Ask her yourself."

I was silent for a while. Can I? Can I really muster all my courage just to get that answer that I know will only break me?

"But... what if she is? What if she's dating—"

"What if she's not?" He cut me off. He finished his glass of whiskey before he stood up and patted my shoulder. "You've let her leave you once. I don't know why you're doing the same fucking shit right now."

I was pouring another glass of alcohol for myself when my daughter's iPad on the table suddenly lit up because of a notification. I took it and looked at her wallpaper. It was the picture of the three of us from the booth. Tears suddenly started falling from my eyes as I realized what I just lost—what I will loose if I don't do anything.

I took my car key and drove as fast as I could to where Kaye is. My hand gripped the steering wheel. I will not back down. This is not the life I wanted. I want her to stay... to build a family with me. Not with any other fucking man.

I just want her all mine and I swear will make sure that after all this running and chasing, her fucking end game would be me.