her way ✰ (dallas winston x reader)

chapter 53 - can't explain

~your p.o.v~

A sigh passed my lips as I put my hands behind my head. I was laying on Dal's bed. We had just gotten back from the hospital earlier today and I was still tired. I had a lot on my mind, mostly about the events of today and my brother. But when was I not thinking about my brother?

I couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if that church collapsed on one of us.

If it was Ponyboy, the whole gang would be torn apart. Johnny would fall apart. If Johnny fell apart, so would Dallas. Darry and Sodapop would fall apart. If Sodapop fell apart, Steve would follow close behind. If Two-bit saw all of his friends in pain like this, he would probably do the same as the rest of the gang; fall apart.

If it was Dallas, Johnny and me would be heartbroken. Johnny and Dallas have a strong bond, and I... Well, I think I'm in love with him.

If it was Johnny in that fire, Ponyboy would be heartbroken and Dallas would lose his mind. I wouldn't be surprised if he took his own life.

And if it was me? Well, I'm not sure. I didn't know these boys for nearly as long as they had known each other. I wasn't sure if I even counted to them. Maybe Two-bit would miss me?

"You look like you're thinking about something." Dallas laid down next to me and I turned to face him.

"It's nothing." I answered, looking up at him. He was staring up at the ceiling, his eyes closed with his hands behind his head. He was shirtless, which exposed all of the burns he had gotten. They were nothing serious, but they sure looked uncomfortable.

"I can't stop thinking about Johnny, man." Dallas sighed.

"Yeah, me neither."

"It's just, what if you hadn't saved his ass back there?" He wondered out loud.

"I've been thinking about the same thing." I admitted, yawning.

I decided to change the topic and looked at his burned arm. I mindlessly and softly ran my finger across his arm, careful not to hurt him as I  spoke. "Your arm feeling alright?"

"Yeah, it's fine." I felt his eyes on me as I subconsciously traced shapes on his arms with my finger.

"Why are you nice to me anyway, huh?" He asked. I giggled softly and turned back to the ceiling.

"I don't know if I'd call it nice, exactly." I closed my eyes, a smile on my face as I spoke. He chuckled and I heard him shift next to me. I opened my eyes halfway to see that he had propped his elbow up and was resting his chin on his hand, looking at me.

"Why do you hang around with a guy like me?" He asked. I shrugged, closing my eyes again.

"Got nothing better to do. I just like bothering you." I joked. He chuckled next to me.

"No, really. Why would a soc like yourself be hanging out with me?" He seemed genuinely curious.

"Well, I don't know. There's something about you. I can't put it into words..." I trailed off, unsure of how to finish.

"There's just something about you, Dallas Winston." I turned back to him and looked him in the eyes.

I never expected to be gushing over a boy like Dallas Winston. I wasn't sure why I had fallen for him. We were different. We were supposed to hate each other, right?

Maybe that's why I loved him. He was different. When we were together, it was like two worlds colliding. He was a tough greaser who was cold to the world, and I was just a soc. A girl stuck in her brother's shadow.

We were different, but the same. We could be cold and distant, we could be rude and violent. But deep down, we were just kids. Kids who were the same, trapped in different worlds.

There was a part of me that wanted to break through and break into his world. I desperately wanted to be apart of that world of his. And everyday, the feeling of wanting to, the feeling of needing to break through got stronger.

Did he ever feel that?

If he got a stubborn girl like me to feel so soft for him, had I managed to make him feel soft for me?

Maybe it was wishful thinking. Maybe I just wanted to believe that he cared. But deep down I believe that some part of him does care about me.

I let out another yawn, the thoughts swirling around in my head beginning to make me feel even more tired.

"You tired?" Dallas asked. I nodded.

"That's fine. You can go to bed, I won't bother ya."

I gave him one last small smile before closing my eyes and allowing myself to give into my drowsy feeling.