Hans ke, kyu tor diye waade

Part 25

Dadi- Avni beta...

And she saw Avni sitting on the floor with her head resting back on the bed... Dadi moved towrds her and sat on the bed and slowly kept her head in her lap...

Dadi- mera bacha ro rha tha kya?
(My kid had been crying?)

A- Aansu hi kahan aate hai ab dadi!
(Tears have stopped coming to my eyes dadi...)

Dadi(shocked)- kya matlab beta?
(What do you mean dear?)

A- meri aankhein ab ek sookha hua kua (well) ban chuki hai.. nahi aata hai ab paani wahan se.. dukh dard takleef ki mai ab itni aadi ho chuki hn ki koi farq hi nhi pdta hai jaise mjhe.. chahkar bhi ro nhi skti aansu nhi baha skti mai... Bin Roye bhi ansu mere dil mae jhalakte.. takleef dete mujhe...
(My eyes have turned into a dried well now, there is no water left within it... i have been so habituated to pain now that it seems to have no effect on me now.. and today I am not being able to shed tears though i badly want to...)

D- mai smjh skti hn beta.. tjhe, tere haalat sab smjh skti hn mai.. par beta pls rone ki koshish kar.. is tarah se saare gham apne andar rkhna tere liye bilkul bhi acha nhi hai.. tuh kyu khudko ghutan aur tanhai se maarna chahti hai mere bache? Meri jaan! Khul beta sabke saamne khul aur andar hi andar khudko takleef dena bandh krde..
(I can understand you my dear.. i can understand how you feel right now... but pls my dear try to cry.. try to open up your emotions.. and not bottle up yourself this way.. dont murder yourself internally this way in lonliness and suffocation... dont stress yourself so much my kid....)

This time without replying Avni just closed her eyes... and she slept in dadis lap who caressed her head for sometime.. and then suddenly Avni got up screaming and her hand were trembling...

A- maine nhi maaraa... maine nhi maara hai Juhi ko! Maine nhi maara hai.. mai.. maii.. mai uski maut kabhi chahti hi nhi thi... meri baddua.. nhi.. nhi lag skti hai..
(I didnt kill her... i didntt... i didnt kill juhi... i.. i.. i didnnt... I never... wanted her.. to die... )

D- shaant ho ha beta.. shant ho ja.. yh tuh kya bol rhi hai? Tune nhi maara hai kisi ko.. tune nnhi maara hai...
(Calm down my dear! Calm down... and what are you saying all thisM you havent killed anyone.. you didnt kill her!)

A- hum lakh yh kehle duniya se par andar hi andar hum dono yh jaante hai ki mere haath range hai juhi ke khoon se.. uski maut ke peeche mai hn! Meri kaali zubaan se nikle alfaaz sach hogye hai.. meri baddua qabool hogyi hai... meei hayye lag gyi usse.. meri wajah se uska pyara parivar toot gya hai.. meri wajah se Neil ki hasta khelti zindagi jahanam ban gyi hai... mere wajah se Mayan ko bin Maa apni puri zindagi bitani hogi... meri wajah se itna brha gunnah.. itne saare logon ke saath nainsaafi ho rhi hai.... yh kya krdia maine...
(We might say this a thousand times to the world but in our hearts both of us very well know thta the reason behind Ishana's death is me..... My hands are coloured with her blood.... Those words which I spitted from my black tongue have acted as a curse... my words have come out to be true... my wishes have got accpeted.. bcoz of me she lost her family! Becoz of me Neil's family got destroyed... becoz of me Mayan lost his mom... becoz of me so many ppls life have turned hell... what have I done?)

D- nhi bache isme tera koi qasoor nhi hai... tune woh sab jazboton mae behkar kahe the... tuh dil se yh sab thodi na chahti thi.. hayye wahi lgti hai jo dilse di jaati hai....
(No dear you are not at fault... you said all that in emotions.. you never meant them... and a curse hets fulfilled only when we mean them from our heart...)

A- dadi juhi ne jaate jaate mjhse khud kahan tha ki aajse Neil aur Mayan mere hai... woh jaanti thi ki mai Neil ko chahti hn... mai sach keh rhi hn dadi mai unki khushiyan se nhi jalti thi.. maine kbhi yh sab nhi chaha tha... mai apni behen ka haq nhi marna chahti thi.. dadi sach keh rhi hn mai.. mere aise koi intensions nhi the.. aise koi khyal nhi the...
(Before leaving juhi had herself told me that mayan and neil now belong to me... she knew it that i loved neil... i truly wasnt jealous of their happiness dadi... i never wanted to snatch away what belonged to her... my intenions were never such... )

D- haan bache tune kch nhi kia.. yh sab tuh kismat aur upar waale ka khel hai... yaad rkh bache hota wahi hai jo kismat mae likha hota hai.. hum insaanon ke chahne se agar kch hota hai toh duniya ki koi zaroorat hi nhi thi... bache tera koi dosh nhi hai yahan par... Maine khud dekha hai ki kis qadar tuh unki khushi mai khudko khush rkhti thi.. kis trh apne pyar ko apne se door dekhkr teri ankhon mae aansu hote the magar tere hoton mae ek muskurahat... apni behen ki khushiyon ke liye... mai smjhti hn tjhe beta... tera koi qasoor nhi hai..
(Yes my dear it wasnt your fault... this was all lords and your destinys will... remember my child everything that happens with you is due to your destiny.. you are born with everything written right there.... if with us wanting things would have changed then there would have been no world today... i have seen everything till date and i very well know how you adjusted yourself to all situations perfectly... how you tried keeping yourself happy in their happiness.... though with tears in your eyes you always had a smile on your lips seeing them happy... i have seen everything my dear.. it wasnt your fault.. )

With this Avni tightly hugged dadi and she slept with he that night....
Days passed by this way and Avnj became a mother like figure to Mayan...Mayan began staying more with Avni than Neil.... all his tasks used to be performed by Avni only and he did not let anyone else do them for him.. Even while sleeping he used to sleep with Avni instead of Neil... Neil also was happy seeing Avni take care of his son so well.. but he was sad at the same time, there were two reason behind it... the first was that he wasnt yet out of the trauma of loosing juhi, his son suffering and the second was that he was sad seeing Avni lost...

................................

Some days later...

Dadi was sitting with Manish and Swarna

Dadi- aakhir kab tab Neil yunh rahega is trh tanha.. abhi umar hi kya uski? Mayan usse ek maa ki zaroorat hai... toh kai soch rhi thi agar hum Avni aur Neik ki shaadi krwa de.. phr na Avni ko humein chodkr jaana hoga.. Mayan ko ek maa aur Neil ko ek jeevan saath mil jayegi.. umr bhar ke liye...
(Until when will Neil remain this way alone? He is so young to be widowed? Mayan that young kid needs his mom.... so i was thinking we should get Avnj and Neil married to one another... then Avni wont have to leave us and go to someone elses house... Neil will get a life partner and mayan a mom...)

Sw- yh aap kya bol rhi hai maa? Mai bhalle hi Neil ki Maa hn lkn Avni ne mjhe bachpan se Maa maana hai.. mai uske armanon par uski khwahishon par paani nhi pherna chahungi...
(What r u saying mom? Though i am Neils mom but i care for Avni equally... she has called me mom since childhood amd i am her mom too..m i cannot shatter her dreams of a life and family this way....)

Manish- mera bhi yahin kehna hai is baare mae... hum us bachi ki zindagi khtm nhi kr skte hai maa...
(I have to say the same thing as swarna.. we cannot finish her life...)

Dadi- mai yeh toh nhi keh rhi ki hum zabardasti unki shaadi kra de.. mai toh bas yahin bol rhi hn ki hum ek baar unse baat krke dekhte hai...
Manish tm Neil se baat kro aur Swarna mai aur tm Avni se... maine toh sabki bhalai sochkr hi faisla liya hai ab baaki un dono par hai... unki zindagi unki marzi....
(I am not aksing to force them into this relationship... but i just wanted to talk to them once about it... lets see what they have to say about it.... Manish you talk to Neil about it and swarna i will talk to Avni... we will just talk to them once... the rest it is their life... their wishh...)

Precap: Toh phr sagai ki date nikalwale hum?
(Lets then take out the date for engagement then?)
..................
This book of 'ours' got nominated in the infinity awards.. It doesnt matter to me much whether we win it not, we stand there in the list (despite my late, irregular and not upto the mark updates) and that's actually enough for me❤! Your precious votes and comments that you drop down by taking out time are really important to me, to which I dont even give replies on time, Apologies💕 but i do appreciate them...
And Once again Thank you so much for all the love you showered on this book..

Saru❤