This Gray, Unfortunate Place (2)

4 - Roller-Coasters

I stopped bein' afraid 

of roller-coasters when I realized

how truly hard self-improvement is. 

Think about it-

You could ride 

all the roller-coasters in the world,

but keeping your flaws in check?

Actually  overachieving things? 

Not self-sabotaging? 

The fear of death --

via roller-coaster, of course --

I've come to realize,

isn't a terror,

but a fantasy. 

Things would make sense, you see. 

You die under the fallibility 

of negligent machinery. 

The park, in all its amusements,

will cease to be- Maybe,

or you become the posterboy 

for stricter measures on safety. 

You know what doesn't make sense? 

How drastically you'll have to change

if you want more out of life,

and how difficult --

and nasty --

that can be-

That it's always you in the driver's seat,

steering the rigid, bumpy street

of your own destiny. 

I'm a complete,

fuckin' mess.