This Gray, Unfortunate Place (2)

9 - Dynamics

They all say to enjoy the activity 

before you indulge in the need

for another's company,

but 

these activities 

are empty

without the right spectacles

of righteous friendship.

All I feel drawn to 

is to draw up a meme

venting, creatively, 

on how I feel lonely,

but I'll feel, in some sick way,

slightly superior 

because I'll've referenced my suffering 

in a joking kind of way,

even when much more successful boys 

will come tear the fun asunder 

out from under 

where I lay,

because only 'betas' make callous jokes --

laughing and teasing --

about the girls who hurt their feelings.

I guess, looking at my dry hands,

that if I were a real man,

I'd just be blind 

to all the dynamics

that cause me disappointment-

Is that how I'm 

supposed to do it?