Life As a Beta's Mate: Sawyer's Regret

Ch.19

Ch.19

Sage could never imagine what it would take to make it through the day after you buried someone that you loved, nor had she ever wished to imagine it. And as she lay in bed still dressed in her clothes from her grandmother's funeral, she wished to god that the day would just end. The numbest that had been sitting with her since her Grams had taken her final breath had been one that had literally eaten all emotions from her and had her at a standstill. She felt like even though time was moving forward, she, herself was not. She felt stuck, not only in her movements but also in her mind.

She couldn't think, she could sleep, she couldn't turn off that empty silence that had drawn on since that night of the hospital, and after nearly a week of trying to work through her grievance, she still couldn't.

If she were being completely honest, she couldn't even remember waking up this morning and going to the funeral. Of course, she knew she had woken up, but from the time she arrived at the church to say her final farewells to her grandmother, she couldn't make sense of anything after that.

It was like it all seemed to happen in a flash. One moment she was in her room getting ready for the funeral and the next she was back in her room, only this time, tears slowly slipped from her eyes as she lay in bed and let the numbness eat away at her.

It was all so surreal, yet she couldn't feel what she was supposed to be feeling.

When she found out about her brother, and then losing her grandmother something inside of her switched, and now she couldn't let bring herself to feel what was needed, even if she wanted to do so.

No; instead her mind was a could blank. Nothing drew, nothing came, nothing went. She was literally just going through the motions.

And as she lay in silence on her side as the nothingness continued to flow, the only thing that she could do was to take a deep breath and just breathe.

She continued like that for another half an hour, before the sound of someone tapping at her door caught her attention. Instead of asking acknowledging them, her brown eyes only darted to the door, as she continued to take slow and steady breath's.

As if she had asked them to come in, she watched as her bedroom's door had slowly crept opened, and watched as Amaya stepped through the door, with a warm smile on her face. She was dressed in some type of black bohemian dress that came to the floor and a necklace that was wrapped around her neck. Her long black hair was swooped to the side falling in soft curls as her matching brown eyes met Sage.

She watched as Amaya softly closed the door behind her, as she juggled the glass of what Sage could only assume to be as tea, in the other hand, before making her way over to Sage.

Stopping just before her, she placed the tea on the night stand that had been next to the bed before she brought her eyes back on to her daughter and sighed softly, before kneeling down next to her. Taking a soft and gentle hand, she reached forward and placed a warm hand on Sage's cheek, stroking at it softly before pushing a string of her hair behind her ear.

It pained Amaya to see Sage in such a way. It angered her that she was not there for her daughter in the way that she needed to be, and it broke her heart that she didn't know what to say to her to make her feel better. Since Lilly had passed, Amaya had taken it upon herself to step up for both Sage and Simon, and since that night, she saw sage the way she saw others who had given up or had fallen to the sunken place. She saw the numbed and void looks in her eyes, and saw the expressionless look on her face, and all she could do was watch. She didn't want to say anything that would push Sage away or to make matters worse, but she feared that she could no longer stay silent; not when Sage was hurt, and pushing the one person that could uplift her away.