Old Me

34 - Stay

He gently dropped me on the bed and climbed on top of me so one of his arms was propping him up. I released my grip around my phone, leaving it on the bed next to us. I giggled with nervousness as he stared down at me, rubbing his hand up and down my side.

"You're so beautiful," he said softly pecking my nose.

I bit my lip and looked away. Why do compliments always make me cringe? It must be really dark because clearly there are hotter girls than me.

He left a trail of kisses from my ear to my collarbone and stopped where the shirt covered my body. He lifted his head back to mine and smiled.

I can't believe this is happening right now.

I decided to be bold and I grabbed his cheeks, pulling his face down to mine so our lips would meet.

Go, Bea! Confidence is sexy, I told myself as he passionately kissed me back.

I let my hands roam around his back and chest as we kissed and shivered when his hand slid under the shirt and up my side. I gently pushed his shoulders back so I could sit up. He quickly sat up and removed his hands from me.

He looked apologetic, but I simply pulled the shirt over my head and threw it to the floor. I felt so exposed and was glad I was still wearing a bra. He didn't move but I could see that he was looking at me. I grabbed his hand and pulled him back down with me as I laid on the bed. He kissed my lips gently and pulled back, still looking at my body. His fingers gently brushed my scar just below my collarbone and he bent down and kissed it. He kept going, leaving soft kisses down my sternum until he reached my bra, sending goosebumps all over my body.

He pulled back up and smiled at me before attacking my lips again. His hand roamed down my hip and back up to the edge of my bra. He rolled onto his side and I wrapped my leg on top of his body so we were intertwined. His hand now squeezing my butt I pulled his hair with pleasure. He smiled and slowed his kisses until he stopped completely.

He moved his hand from my butt to my hip and looked down at me.

"I think we should call it a night," he said softly.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked afraid that I had made a fool of myself.

I've never done this before. Did I mess it up?

"No, no, no. Not at all. We haven't really talked about boundaries or anything or if you've had any sexual partners. I just want to be responsible."

I took in what he said and nodded, letting my pulse calm down. I took a deep breath and removed my leg from around his waist. He lifted his hand and lightly traced my scar.

"It's from my port," I said.

"What's that?" He whispered.

"Um, well it's a catheter that gets put in so that when they gave me chemo treatments I didn't have to constantly get poked for an IV," I explained, remembering when I first got it put in.

I wish the scar would just go away. That's the last real give away that I was sick and it makes me feel ugly.

He nodded and ran his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes at the soothing feeling of him playing with my hair.

"I should let you sleep," he said after some time had passed.

I opened my eyes sleepily.

"That felt good," I sighed.

He smiled and tapped my nose.

"You're so cute," he smirked.

He sat up and ran his hands through his hair as he sighed deeply. I sat up too and joined him on the edge of the bed.

"You can sleep here, if you want to," I said softly.

He looked over at me surprised.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I nodded smiling.

"Okay, let me just make sure the house is locked up. I need to blow out the candles," he said standing up.

He left the room and I took this opportunity to use the bathroom and put my shirt back on. I took my phone into his bathroom for light and quickly peed. I walked backed into the bedroom just as Michael was doing the same.

"I brought you a glass of water, just in case," he said as he held one out for me to grab.

"Thank you," I said taking it and drinking half of it.

I watched as he set his water down and grabbed his phone and plugged it into a cord next to the bedside table.

"Do you want to charge your phone? Well, it'll charge when the power returns. I have a spare cord."

"Uh, yeah. If you don't mind."

Michael left the room and shortly returned to hand it to me.

"Thanks," I said walking over to the other side of the bed with my phone for a flashlight to plug it into the wall.

Michael climbed into the bed and I did the same. I tried to stay on the far edge of the bed so I wouldn't bother him in the middle of the night if I rolled over. He was on his phone for a little before locking it, putting it down, and turning on his side to face me.

I rolled over too and he smiled.

"I won't bite. You don't have to sleep so far away," he chuckled.

"I know, I just want to give you space. I don't want to accidentally kick you or something in the night," I explained.

He rolled his eyes and scooted closer to me until his arm wrapped around my body and pulled me into his chest. He sighed and rubbed his hand up and down my back soothingly.

"Goodnight, Bea."

"I...um, I hate to ruin this cute moment and all, but I can't exactly breath," I said into his chest.

"Oh, sorry," he said releasing me.

"Goodnight, Michael," I said as I rolled over and faced the other way.

I fluffed the pillow a little and smiled at the scent of his bed. I could feel that he had rolled over too, and I tried to relax so I could fall asleep. It was already two in the morning and having him just inches away was setting my heart on fire. I couldn't believe this was real. I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the sound of the rain and thunder outside.

Just go to sleep, Bea. He is probably already asleep. You just need to calm down.