Old Me

56 - Just Say It

My palms were sweating so badly that I kept them in my jacket pocket so Mikey couldn't try to hold my hand. We walked down to the entrance of Ocean Beach farmer's market and the smell of cooking food made my stomach rumble.

"Smell's great," I said, trying to distract myself from what I had planned for that evening.

"Yeah, it does," he smiled.

His hand slipped around my waist as we were engulfed by the swarm of people.

"Just let me know when you see something that sounds good," he said as he leaned down to speak directly into my ear.

I nodded and casually checked out the stalls as we passed them. The sun had just set, so the sky was a deep shade of blue, not yet black. It was cool out compared to the heat of the end of summer we felt just a few hours before. I wore a pair of distressed jeans and a flannel shirt that I left unbuttoned to reveal a black crop top. I admired Mikey's black jeans and black hoodie. They reminded me of what he must have been like a few years back when he was much more "intense" as the boys described.

He suddenly looked down at me, catching my stare and he smirked.

He pointed to the stall next to us that had a short line of costumers waiting to order tacos.

I nodded and we joined the line. We both stared up at the menu and I immediately knew what I wanted: Carne Asada tacos.

"I think I'll get the tacos al pastor," he said.

I chuckled at his pronunciation. It sounded so strange with his Australian-American accent.

"What?" he asked, raising his pierced brow. God, he's so sexy.

"Nothing," I smiled, shaking my head.

After we got our tacos we headed down to the pier to find somewhere to sit and eat.

"How's the school year going for Luke?" I asked.

"Oh, good. He's really happy at the school he's at so far. I mean it's only been a month or so but he sounds good."

"That's really good. I'm glad he's happy," I said. I still felt awkward knowing what I did about Luke and Alessandro and not telling Mikey. I would definitely have to ask him about telling him soon because I didn't want to keep lying.

"What about you? How's the job hunt going?"

I took a deep breath and sighed, motioning with my head for us to take an open bench that faced the water.

"Well, to be honest, it's not going anywhere anymore," I said flatly.

"What do you mean?" he asked, before taking a bite of his taco and moaning at how delish it was.

I smiled at his love of food and how he reacted when something tasted good before responding.

"So, my dad told me that he wants me to start doing more of the behind the scenes stuff at the shop. Like the marketing stuff..." he nodded for me to continue, "And he gave me this whole speech about how much he's sacrificed to put me through school and stuff, and how he was so happy that I could use my degree to help him run the shop. And I couldn't say no. He would be devastated if he even knew I had considered taking a job elsewhere. So, I've decided to just stick with working for my parents."

I used the silence between us to finally start eating.

"You don't sound very happy about it," he commented.

I shrugged and when I was finished chewing replied, "No, it'll be good. Besides my dad is right, I owe it to him."

"I guess I just don't think you should owe your parents anything. They're supposed to make sacrifices to support you, it's their responsibility."