Old Me

53 - Love Bites

He lifted his arm so I could snuggle against his chest.

"Can I ask you something?" I mumbled as a traced the outline of ink on his chest.

"Of course. Anything."

I let out a deep breath getting up the nerve to ask what I wanted.

"Where do you see this going?" I finally asked, not daring to look at his face.

"How do you mean?" He asked, his voice vibrating in his chest beneath my ear.

"I mean...like, how do you see this relationship going—like are you dating just to date and have fun, or like, are you dating for other reasons..."

His chest rose and fell for a while before he finally responded, "I'm definitely not dating for fun. I know this is probably kind of early to be saying this, but—I'm not in this for sex or whatever. I really, really like you and I definitely could see this as something that doesn't end."

I smiled uncontrollably, relieved and elated that he felt the same way that I did. Well sort of—I definitely more than just liked him. I was pretty damn sure I was in love with him.

"Me too."

I closed my eyes and let the sound of his heartbeat lull me. I don't know how much time had passed, but I felt something tickle my arm and I jolted upright.

"Sorry," I yawned as I looked back at Mikey, realizing I must have fallen asleep.

"That's okay. I didn't mean to startle you. It's getting late, and I need to get home."

"Oh," I nodded rubbing my eyes, "What time is it?"

"8:30."

"Merda," I mumbled, "you should've woke me up."

"Love, it's okay, I actually fell asleep too," he smiled, patting my leg.

I chuckled to myself and nodded.

"I'll walk you out," I said, climbing over him and off of the bed.

I slipped on a pair of sweatpants while he got dressed, and tossed the dirty towel into my laundry bin. A made a mental note to do my laundry before my parents got home.

"Ready?" He asked as he ran his hands through his hair.

"Yep," I nodded, leading him downstairs.

I smiled at him widely before reaching for the door handle and my eyes suddenly widened.

"Cazzo! Mikey, I'm so sorry!"

"What? What's wrong?" He asked, his eyes searching for an answer.

"I, um," I stepped towards him and ran my finger over the mark on his neck, "I accidentally gave you a hickey...I think."

I chewed on my lip afraid that he was going to get upset as he walked up to the mirror hanging on the wall next to us to inspect himself.

"Oh, shit," he chuckled, "you did, didn't you?"

He laughed and rubbed the mark on his neck, looking at me in the mirror.

"Bea, it's okay, I'm not mad," he smiled turning around so he could face me, "it's not that big of a deal."

"Are you sure?" I asked frowning.

"Yes, love. I'm sure," he smiled, almost laughing.

"I didn't even realize that was how—I mean, it wasn't on purpose."

"It's fine," he persuaded, wrapping his arms around my waist, "just maybe next time make it somewhere I can easily hide it."

I groaned internally with embarrassment and nodded.

"Come on," he chuckled as he led us outside to his car.

He unlocked his car and wrapped his arms around my waist, "Thanks for tonight. I had a really good time."

"Me too," I smiled.

He pecked my lips and released my body, "Goodnight."

"Night," I waved as he opened his car door.

I suddenly remembered I wanted to ask him something.

"Hey wait!"

"Yeah?" he asked, his body half inside the car.

"I, um, I'm meant to invite you over on Thursday," I said, "we're having a little family gathering for my five year anniversary of being in remission."

"Awesome, what time?" he asked.

"I'm not sure yet, it's actually not confirmed." I paused in thought, realizing that I still had to receive confirmation that I was in remission.

"Oh," he nodded, "wait, you mean like your remission isn't confirmed or the party? Or both?"

He climbed out of the car and grabbed my hand.

"Uh, both," I nodded, "my appointment is this week so we will find out if I'm still in remission."

He nodded and ran a hand through his hair. 

"Do you want me to come with you to your appointment?" he asked as he squeezed my hand in comfort.

"Uh, no. That's okay, my mom and dad are going to go with me," I smiled, "but thanks."

"Okay," he looked at me thoughtfully, "but you'll call me with the results?"

"Yeah, sure."

He sighed and kissed my cheek before returning to his car to leave.

I let out a deep breath and walked back inside, anxiety about the appointment starting to creep up.

----

"Really?" My mom's voice echoed down the hall as I approached the kitchen.

"I wouldn't lie to you, amore," my dad smiled and shook his head.

"Hey, do you guys have a minute?" I asked as I took a seat at the kitchen table where they were sitting.

My mom looked up from me from her computer screen and smiled, "Of course, tesoro. Tutto a posto?"

"Yeah, yeah. Everything's fine," I nodded as my dad's eyebrows raised, "I just wanted your opinion on something."

"Okay," my dad nodded, gesturing for me to continue.

"Well, I guess it's more of a question really," I stalled, as I tried to work up the courage to ask what I really wanted to know.

My parents looked at me expectantly.

"Um, how did you know you were in love?" I asked as I played with the necklace Cat had given to me.

"Oh, um," my dad looked over at my mom for help.

"Well, I think it was a few things," my mom spoke, "I realized it was love when I went away on vacation and all I could think about was your dad."

She paused to grab his hand before she continued, "I just wanted to be near him, I didn't care what we were doing as long as we were together."

My dad leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Is this about Michael?" he asked me.

I smiled and nodded.

"I think I love him, but I'm nervous to tell him. What if he doesn't feel the same way? I mean we've only been dating a few months."

"Pray about it," my mom suggested.

I rolled my eyes to myself. That's her answer to everything.

"And, if you decide that you do love him, then you should tell him. I don't think there's anything wrong with being the first to say it," she added.

I sighed and thought about what she said. I guess she was right, the girl can be the one to say I love you first. Confidence is sexy, right? At least that's what Siena and Lucia are always saying.

"Thanks."