fear not [muke]

two

waiting rooms were always scary for luke. as a child, he would cry when he and his mother were waiting for his doctor because he knew that behind the door he would be getting prodded with needles. he hated needles. he rubbed his hands on his pants as he waited for the examiner to come out and call him in for his classification. he was petrified.

all you have to do is pass the test, be classified as neutral, and mum will still love and support me. i'll be normal.

'luke hemmings?' luke shot up and followed the sound of the voice, seeing a lady with a clipboard staring at him. he felt his heart drop and god, he wanted to just walk out and never look back. 

he followed her down the hall, his nerves eating away at him while he did so. everything his mother had told him prior to this moment was screaming at him in the back of his head. he can't be a little. 

'okay hon, dr. fleming will be right in. as long as you are yourself, this test shouldn't be too difficult. good luck, kid.' she smiled at him, placing the board on the small table in the room.

'thank you.' he mumbled, waiting for her to leave the room before he closed his eyes and let out an anxious sigh. 

i can do this. 

he was scared, but he could do it. he could be neutral. he could be normal. 

'ah, hello mr. hemmings. sorry to have kept you waiting.' had it been long since he was brought into the room? he hadn't caught the time when he was let in, so he didn't really know. his mind wasn't really worried about that right now, anyway.

he watched the man open his laptop and type some stuff in, luke assumed it was to unlock the laptop. he then looked up and smiled.

'shall we get started?' luke nodded in affirmation. now or never.

'you look nervous.' luke locked eyes with the man and chuckled lightly. he was indeed. he hadn't been this scared in a long time. 'there are thirty questions, i'll be asking them and all you have to do is respond. if anything gets to be too much, let me know and we can take a break. a special deal for you.' 

luke smiled and rubbed his hands together, feeling the clamminess of them fading as he talked with the man. he was nice enough.

'alright, let's begin.'

luke took every question and tried to figure out the answer that would be a surefire way to be classified as neutral. it was exhausting to go against intuition, but he knew he needed to. he needed his family in his life.  there were a few questions where he hesitated because he knew that his real answers wouldn't result in him being neutral. lying was hard. but he had to.

nearly an hour later and he was finally finished. the questions were long and required long answers. answers that luke had rehearsed in his head for months now. 

'well, i think it's pretty clear that you are neutral, sir. just a quick questionnaire to ensure this.' luke hadn't been prepared for this. however, he nodded, taking in a deep breath.

'in the last three years, have you wet the bed or yourself?' luke paused. there was those few times when he had nightmares. but those didn't count, he had been scared. he shook his head.

'have you ever tried to be the most powerful when around people who have been classified as submissive?'

'no'

'have you ever dealt with stress by regressing into a younger mindset, and participated in things that someone of that age would normally partake in?' luke sighed, looking down, but shook his head still. this test was exhausting. 

'okay, luke hemmings, i classify you as neutral. you're allowed to go now, unless you have ny questions.' luke smiled brightly and shook his head, standing and shaking the man's hand. he was happy.

his mother was going to be so proud. his family would still love him.

-

luke's mother was waiting for him when he got home. he was tired, and he really just wanted a nap. she had a stern look on her face when he walked through the door. 

'did you pass?' she inquired simply, smiling brightly when luke nodded. he had never seen a larger smile in his life. she was proud of him. 

why didn't luke feel good about it? he knew he had done good, and he knew that he made her proud. he smiled before saying he was tired. the test was tiring. he managed to make it to his room before collapsing on his bed, grabbing his phone and phoning his best friend, michael.

michael was a year older than him, and he's had his classification for almost a year now. he was a caregiver. he wasn't paired with anyone right now, his last three pairings had proven to be unsuitable for him and the littles, so now he was in a waiting period.

'lu! did you get classified?' michael's cheery voice came through the phone, making luke, in turn, smile back. they couldn't see each other, but luke was sure that michael had a smile on his face.

'yeah! i'm neutral!' luke giggled, proud of himself for being a neutral; proud to be normal. they couldn't see each other, but luke heard michael sigh and his smile drop.

'oh, i always saw you as more of a little. you're just - i don't know.' 

'michael,' luke was offended. how could michael think he was so disgusting? he would never act like that. it was gross.

'don't get upset, it wasn't an insult. i just think you'd be a cute little.' luke was getting angrier. he wasn't a little, and michael needed to know that.

'littles are so, they are gross! and they can't act their age and they won't grow up! they are probably just faking it, who would want to act like a baby?!' michael sighed angrily before saying a few choice words to the boy without thinking, and hanging up.

luke was left in tears, staring at his phone screen. he felt bad, but he had to let michael know he wasn't a little. 

''m not a little.' luke wiped his tears before falling back onto his bed. it was only 8pm, but he was exhausted. normally he would strain himself to stay awake, but between the test and him now upset over what michael had said, he was far too tired.

with that said, he pulled his blanket up over him and fell asleep, letting the last tears in his eyes fall and tire him out completely.