fear not [muke]

twenty - two

it had been two weeks. two weeks since he had heard from, talked to, seen michael. he hadn't regressed because he just didn't feel safe around his assigned partner, jacob. he didn't hate him, he was nice and tried so hard to get him to regress, but luke would just get upset and lie in bed.

'hey luke, how are you doing? can i get you anything.' jacob asked luke this every morning, knowing full well that the boy was hurting. luke hummed, his phone blowing up with texts from calum and ashton, who wanted to see him. but luke couldn't. he couldn't go to school because michael was there, and if he saw him he wouldn't want to leave.

luke sat up, the bed underneath him creaking as he stood to walk to the door. he had a slight headache, probably from staring at his phone so early in the morning, but he ignored it as he opened the door.

'can i have a hug.' jacob smiled, this being one of the only acts of affection that luke had given to him.

'of course, bud. c'mere.' luke melted into his touch, the tight squeeze reminding him oh so much of michael. he wanted michael, and he hated that.

'jacob, i'm sorry. i'm sorry.' luke repeated himself, unsure of how to explain his feelings. jacob seemed to understand, pulling away from the hug.

'i know you loved him, and i know you still do.' jacob's words weren't harsh. they were soft, sweet, and true. luke just wanted to be with who he was comfortable with.

'we'll go back in the morning and explain, okay? does that sound okay?' jacob asked, ruffling luke's hair a little bit. luke found it kind of sweet. he nodded, pulling at jacob's sleeve.

'can we watch a movie, i'll order some food?' jacob smiled.

'why don't you go pick a movie and i'll order chinese.'

-

the next morning, luke woke up to jacob spooning him. for a moment, he wasn't uncomfortable. he enjoyed the touch. he rolled over, his head getting a little fuzzy. he hadn't felt comfortable around jacob since they first met. he smiled as he spoke.

'jakey? can we get food?' jake's eyes opened quickly, noticing the way he spoke.

'feeling little, honey?' luke hummed, his eyes shutting softly as jacob rubbed his back. he was warm, and everything felt oddly right. jacob felt good that luke was able to regress, but he also knew that it was probably just due to his general exhaustion and frustration at his situation. 'c'mon, i'll take you out for pancakes before we go to the office, how's that sound?' luke nodded, his eyes fluttering shut again as jacob got out of bed.

luke and jacob left the house a half-hour later, right after luke had a small tantrum over wanting to call michael. jacob and luke had agreed not to let him, but luke was little now and he wanted to hear his voice. luckily, that got over quickly and with a small 'sorry, jakey' from luke.

when they arrived at the small café, jacob took luke's hand and led him to a table, where a waitress came quickly to take their order. luke ordered blueberry pancakes, as jacob had promised him, and jacob himself ordered french toast. jacob also made sure to get luke a juice, while he enjoyed a hot chocolate.

'here, hun. they brought you something to color while you wait.' luke smiled and took the crayons from his assigned partner. he looked at the coloring sheet, noticing the blank image of two cartoon children playing on a playground.

'me and mikey used to go to the playground when we was kids. so much fun!' luke told jacob, who was smiling softly at him.

'parks are really fun, sorry i didn't get to take you to one.' luke shrugged.

's'okay. jakey good friend, anyway.' this, jacob laughs at. luke was adorable, and in his mind, michael was lucky to have someone like luke care about him so much.

when the food arrived, luke put up a fight to put his coloring away, but eventually did so as his tummy rumbled. his eyes widened at the sound, and then to his plate of food.

'my tummy really wants the pancakes!' luke exclaimed. he dove into his food quickly, getting his hands all syrupy. jacob moves luke's coloring sheet from in front of him, noticing how the boy had colored in the little cartoons, labeling one luke, one michael, and a drawn one with them labeled 'jakey.'

-

luke froze as they parked in front of the assignment offices, his face melting into fear. he looked over at jacob, who was already getting ready to hop out of the car.

'jacob?' luke spoke, his voice tiny, though it was apparent that he was no longer in a younger headspace. jacob looked over and grabbed his hand, giving it a tight squeeze, 'everything is going to be okay. we can still stay in contact.' luke nodded and smiled, a small amount of weight being lifted off his shoulder as the pair got out of the car and held hands as they walked in.

jacob went to the front desk, explaining the situation. they were soon placed into a room together, luke resting his head on jacob's shoulder. he really had become friends with the boy over the past few weeks, and he was almost scared to lose him, even if he did want michael back.

'hey, how's everything going?' it wasn't the usual doctor for luke, so he shied away and squeezed jacob's hand tightly.

'that's why we are here actually. luke's not comfortable enough with me, and he's had a hard time being able to regress. i think he'd be better with his previous partner.' the doctor rolled his eyes, sitting down and smiling. the kind of smile someone gives when they are mocking.

'look, i'm glad you're thinking he'd be happier, but -'

'luke?' luke turned around and saw his usual doctor standing there. he smiled at her, noticing how her face faltered.

'what's going on here?'

jacob rose from his seat.

'he's supposed to be with michael. i don't know how you wish to go about this, but he's not supposed to be my partner. me and him are going to be best friends, though. nothing more than that, right luke?' luke nodded, his eyes trained on his hands. he was scared, unsure of what was happening, and he really didn't like how much everyone seemed to be making his decisions.

'want mikey, please?' luke whimpered, his heart heavy from emotion. he just wanted his best friend back, his boyfriend.

the room went silent as luke began crying, slipping so far into his headspace that he wasn't even aware of what he was doing. he climbed up onto jacob's lap and sobbed into his neck.

'you have to be able to do something? he can't live like this, he's miserable!' jacob yelled at the doctors.

'what is the previous assignments name?'

'they weren't assigned. dr. kahn, why don't i take this from here. at this point it is a case that i would handle, so please. c'mon luke, why don't we go get a lolly with jacob, hmm?' luke sat up and wiped his eyes, nodding. he stood and, holding jacob's hand, followed dr. fleming to her office.

'what color would you like, luke?' luke perked up as he walked to the desk, marveling at all of the colors.

'wan' red, please!' he said politely, whispering a quick 'thank you' before going to sit in jacob's lap. it had happened so suddenly, the comfort he felt with jacob now, and he figured it was because he was little.

'now, luke you don't have to answer any of these. i'm going to talk directly to jacob, but if you feel like saying something, feel free.' luke hummed as he felt his eyes flutter shut. when had i gotten so sleepy, he thought as he drifted away, wanting nothing more than to wake up in michael's arms.