fear not [muke]

twenty - nine

luke woke up in a cold sweat, his heart hammering in his chest. he was laid on the floor of calum's bedroom, the mattress he was on made his face hot and sticky. he sat up and looked at calum and ashton, who were sleeping soundly snuggled up next to each other. he reached next to him to grab one of ashton's stuffed animals (which calum had bought him after the submissive insisted that he get to have a comfort toy for when he was playing with luke). he held the animal close to his chest as he silently, his tears soaking the soft fabric.

he decided that leaving the room might be his best bet, as he didn't want to wake up his friends. he wasn't feeling too little, somewhere in between his normal headspace and his regressed one. he slowly opened the door and walked to the bathroom, which was only two doors down in the hallway. he sat down on the bathroom floor and cried, clutching onto the stuffed animal. all he wanted was to sit and talk with michael again, to be held by his friend and be told that everything was okay again. instead, he felt heartbroken and alone.

he pulled his phone from the pocket of his pyjama pants, scrolling to michael's name in his messages. he contemplated calling him, but he knew he might make too much noise, so he texted instead.

"hi mikey :)"

a few minutes went by before he saw that michael was typing back.

"hey sweetheart, what're you still doing up?"

luke stared at the message through teary eyes.

"couldn't sleep, i hope i didn't wake you up?"

"no, you're good. are you alright? how're you feeling?"

luke wasn't sure how he felt. he was definitely sad, a given, he thought. calum and ashton had no problems together, and all luke wanted was to be with michael and be happy, even if they weren't technically meant for each other. luke knew the system was flawed, and that not every 100% match works out, but he knew in his heart that michael was supposed to be his match.

the blond wiped his eyes and began typing.

"i just miss you, we get to see each other tomorrow, right?"

"yes, bunny, we'll see each other tomorrow. don't fill your head with too much excitement though, you always get sick when you're really excited."

michael was right, of course. even as children luke would get ill if he was too excited for something. luke stood from the floor and quietly walked back into calum's and ashton's bedroom.

"okay, i won't. i love you <3"

a few minutes went by with no response, luke figured michael might have gone to bed. the little snuggled up with his blanket on the mattress and began dozing off. his phone buzzed beside him, but luke was too tired to pick it up and look at it.

"i love you too, sugarplum. make sure you get to sleep so you aren't sleepy tomorrow."

-

when max walked into the offices, he shrunk behind michael as they made their way past the front desk and straight to dr. fleming's office, where they had been instructed to go. the doctor wanted to make this as quick and easy as possible. max held michael's hand tightly as they took a seat in the empty office.

'max, hon, you're okay. come sit with me for a sec.' max sat on michael lap, clinging onto him tightly, his brown curls pushed into michael's face. the caregiver chuckled as he ran a hand down the little's back.