fear not [muke]

fifteen

[this chapter is a bit dramatic, in the sense that it could have gone without happening. but, i do not know what to write as of now :/]

luke bottled things up. it was a bad habit he had and he knew it, but talking through things took far more energy than letting them fizzle out and in that regard, luke could call himself lazy. and for some reason, now that he was little most of the time, he got worse at talking about what he was feeling.

currently, luke was in his history class listening to his teacher talking about politics. he didn't actually care enough to put any effort in. most of his thoughts were filled with heavy emotions he couldn't weigh down. he wanted to talk to michael, but he figured that the rules he was given were exclusively for when he was little.

his mother was one of the biggest things he thought about daily. how could she have not cared that her son would be homeless without michael? why didn't she say anything when he left?

'mr. hemmings, do you need to step outside?' luke looked up at the mention of his name and saw the whole class looking at him. his cheeks warmed up and he wiped away tears he had shed. he hadn't thought he was crying.

'i, yeah, uh.' he stood up fast and tripped over his own feet on the way out but made his way through the hallways until he realized there was nowhere for him to go. he took out his phone and went to call michael, but saw a text from him was already on his phone.

hey bunny, i have a test this block and i wanted to tell you, in case you texted me and i didn't answer. love you ♡

luke almost cried when reading it because he truly needed michael right now and he felt like his world was going to collapse on him. luke knew that he could go to the office and tell that he needed michael to take him to daycare, but he didn't want to go there. he just wanted a big hug and his stuffed animal and blanket.

luke walked outside to the small courtyard their school had. when the weather was decent, they would allow the students to eat lunch out there, but they also allowed kids to sit out there during plus blocks.

after lying to the office and telling them he was in a free block, he made his way outside and sat down on the chair, leaning his head back against it. he wanted to go home and lie in bed and cuddle up with his boyfriend.

he pulled out his phone and played a game for a little while, waiting the twenty minutes for michael's class to get out. he sent michael a quick text, telling him that he was sitting outside and to meet him there after class. michael, of course, was going to get worried but luke couldn't care less. he just wanted to leave.

the bell rang soon after and luke looked up to wait for michael. his class wasn't far from the exit so he would be out any second. when luke saw michael, he almost burst into tears. his heart was so heavy with anxiety and he wanted michael to make him feel better. but alas, luke was bad at explaining what was going on.

'did you skip class? are you okay? is something wrong?' michael cupped luke's cheeks and forced the little to look at him, making it impossible for him to hide his emotions.

'he said that i could leave because i was crying, but i hadn't noticed because i was just thinking about my mum i didn't realize -' luke choked on a sob he had tried avoiding. he cried, sure, but when he did it was when he was alone or now, he found out, in his little space. michael promptly hugged him and the boy cried, not understand what was going on or why he was so upset.

'let's get you home and comfy, huh?' luke nodded and let michael go, holding his hand tightly as they walked.

-

'i don't want to be little right now, michael. i am little too much, i don't want to be annoying.' luke mumbled, wanting to just cuddle up with his boyfriend and forget about the day.

'you aren't annoying when you're little, luke, i hope you know that. i enjoy taking care of you.' luke rolled his eyes, hoping michael couldn't see him and curled his arms around himself gently.

'i just, i wish things were the way they were before. i've been avoiding them by being little but, i want to talk about it.' michael perked up and nodded, patting the seat next to him for luke to sit next to him.

luke stood up and fought back the tears he could feel in his eyes. michael could tell the boy was on edge, so he wrapped an arm around him once he had settled into his spot. for being so young, michael was the most comforting person luke had ever met.

'you truly miss your mum, huh?' luke nodded and let a few of his tears slip as he broke down.

'sh-e didn't even car-care that i was leaving!' luke choked up, melting into michael's touch as he rubbed his back. 'she just told me i wasn't welcome! it's as if-if she always knew i would leave! fuck her, i hate her!' luke screamed, getting himself pretty worked up. michael sighed and pulled the boy tightly into a side hug. luke instead crawled up into michael's lap, crying deeply into the boy's shirt, his arms wrapped around the older's neck.

'okay, bunny. shh. you're right, she is horrible for abandoning you like that. i hear you.' luke cried loudly, his body locking up in a slight panic. michael closed his eyes and laid kisses into the boy's hair.

'i miss my mum, and-and i wish she was-sn't a bitch!' michael closed his eyes and simply hugged the boy as he screamed. he was glad that luke was letting it out. sure, he really wished the boy wasn't cursing, but this wasn't the best time to mention it.

luke was breathing jaggedly as he calmed down, slowly relaxing into michael's hold. he was starting to unwillingly slip into his littlespace due to his general exhaustion and his want to be cared for. he snuggled up into michael's chest, letting his eyes slip shut as he fought back against that familiar fuzziness.

'alright, why don't we go lie down and calm down, okay? i'm glad you were able to tell me all that, bunny.' luke nodded, allowing michael to hold him tight and sway them slowly. luke started drifting off to sleep in michael's arms, forgetting about the days events as he fell asleep.