The White Coated Man

36

"Linda, wake up!" Paul was shaking my shoulders (mostly the good shoulder) when I woke up. I was already sobbing hysterically and there was no use in trying to stop. He folded his arms around me and held me close as if a life depended upon it. I buried my face in his neck and he held the back of my head comfortingly. "Shhhh.....it's okay......I know.....I know..."

He was always there when I had a nightmare, comforting me in my weakest moments. I squeezed him tight, feeling secure in his arms. I tried to regulate my breath but I couldn't.

Paul noticed this. "Linda, Love, it's okay to cry when you need to." So I did. I cried until my ribs hurt, feeling as though they were stabbing through my stomach.

~~~

Hours later, I had stopped crying and was breathing normally once again, but I was still miserable and couldn't sleep. After much persuasion, Paul had gone to bed, looking quite tired. My ribs still hurt, which made it harder to sleep. After a while, I just stopped trying and let my mind wander. I'm so lucky Paul came by, rather than anyone else. He's so nice to me, it's hard to believe. I clutched my necklace tightly. And he's so sweet. And to think he didn't just leave me at the hospital, but he even offered his home! To a complete stranger! Oh, and he's cute too....LINDA! 

Then I had a mental argument with myself.

You can't love him, you know. He'll either reject you or abuse you. 

That's not always true!...right? 

You tell me, has it ever worked for you?

No, but...

But what? Imaginary cat got your brain? Wake up Linda! What makes you think he's any different?

Oh, leave me alone!

I can't. I am you. 

You've got a point there. I sighed. I know he's different. I can feel it.

~~~

Martha was lying on the floor when I woke up. I must have fallen asleep sometime around four. Seeing I was awake, she came over and sat down beside me, sniffing my face.

"Good morning," I whispered in my dry morning voice, petting her fluffy head. I kissed her nose and smiled down at her, who then licked my face.