Tale of the mage hero [Completed]

The magical experience of isekai!?

(Picture up top is my proxy chara)

My POV
I look around the room confused and a little pissed cause my cheeks HURT!! There were creeps in robes and 4 exceedingly handsome men.... well pretty boys would be more accurate... I was having a panick attack internally...

'What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS HORSE SHIT!? I SHOULD BE FACING SOME SORT OF GOD RIGHT NOW! BE FINDING OUT WHICH RELIGION WAS TRUE AND THEN GOING TO WHEREVER I GO NEXT! NOT ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO THE FOUR GUYS FROM TATE NO YUUSHA!!!???'

~flashback brought to you by life NOT sucking for once.~

'I've had enough. I can't take it anymore. I will do it this time. I will kill myself today. I'm sorry mom, auntie. I have failed you. I have failed myself. I can not endure. 'What was that prayer Jessica said in outlast 2?'
"Oh right." I sit kneeling before my window looking at the moon... It's beautiful tonight as well... I wonder what will come after? It's always puzzled me... "well then." I close my eyes and start to speak "Now the light has gone away. Savior please listen while I pray. Begging thee to watch and keep, and to send me quietly to sleep. Watchful savior wash away, all I've been wronged today. Please help me every day to be, gentle gentle more like thee..."

as I said these things I hoped that whoever heard would understand what I meant, for I could not utter it aloud. "Whoever comes to reap my soul, I apologize to have burdened you as well. My life is over, but not my family's. Watch over them and give them good fortune. We have suffered a great many. If I am to be reborn, I ask that you let me keep my belongings in my soul... I wish them to be with me always! Even if I am to go to hell everlasting or forget my last life. Let me keep what gave me joy in my soul. I don't ask for you're forgiveness of my sins, for sinning is human nature and the past can't be changed. Right the wrongs done to me and my family, punish those who destroyed our happiness... Please make use of me. If I can help someone and be someones Hero then that would be nice... yes god I am a super weeb with an isekai obsession. I'm not gonna apologize for loving what I love! Love is not a sin!"

I lay on my bed holding my katana over my heart, dressed up nicely with my favorite outfit.

(This with a choker cross...)

I plunge the sword into my heart directly with purpose. The pain is quick but barely there, I hate pain so I took a bottle of ibuprofen to numb it just incase it hurt... I found out through a failed attempt that a bottle of low dose ibuprofen and Dr. Pepper can't kill you. I also found out that apparently in the military it's taken like it's fucking candy. My last thought is the reaction my mom would have when she found me... sorry mom i would get in a fatal accident but the cars not home and I don't have a license.

~flashback over brought to you by my splitting headache~

Oh god.... I've got my isekai redux wish in the SHITTIEST game styled isekai EVER! I'm so gonna fuck everything up... LOOK OUT WORLD AND PREPARE TO GET FUCKED BY THE ISEKAI OBSESSED OTAKU!!!!! Or not.... we'll see!😗