Irondad / Spiderson Oneshots - (Fluff/Angst)

Nightmares - Angst

Peter has been waking up from the same dreams every night, the same dream of what happened on Titan.

Every night he wakes up at nearly 1 am, and doesn't go back to sleep.

But tonight, his dream has a twist.

WARNING: nightmares, panic attacks
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Peters Pov: (Whole oneshot)

"Mr. Stark.." I say, the dream pulling and pulsing. Everything is louder this time, like every sound is full volume. The dream is pushing in on my sides, and it hurts. I scream in my head for the nightmare to end, but it never does work. But this time, it's different.. I can feel it. Something feels off, and if I don't find out what it is soon, I'm going to go crazy.

Every night, the same dream, the same goddamn dream. Every night I dream of the snap. Every night. I always wake up right as I dust, in a cold sweat and a fear rattling my body. It scares the shit out of me, but this time it feels different.

It's like the dream is telling me it won't end at the dust. Like it has a special edition, just for me. It whispers it poisonously in my ear.

As the scene plays out, and as I dust, I don't wake up. Instead, everything turns black, except for Mr. Stark, being illuminated by a stage-like light coming from nowhere.

"I'm glad your dead." He says, turning to me.

I look at him in shock, could he even see me? It's so dark I can't even see myself, but by the way he's looking at me with cold eyes, I can tell he sees me light as day.

"I hated you when you were alive." He says, with no expression. No guilt on his face.

No, there is one expression. It dances in the air around him. Pity. The sick kind.

"No.." I whisper, my throat feeling as though I swallowed acid.

"Yes Peter, And you know it." He says, starting to walk towards me. I try taking a step back, but my legs aren't working.

"You were annoying, an extra. The only reason I recruited you was so I could beat Captains America. I didn't need you afterwards. I used you."

I mean.. he could be right, I think to myself. No, no way. Mr. Stark liked having me around, right?

"When you dusted, that was actually a win on my part. Then you didn't have to follow me around everywhere and call me every three minutes."

"No-" I say, wake up Peter, it's just a dream.

"I'm glad your dead."

"NO!" I say louder, and an electric shock travels my body. Setting a fire to each nerve.

Wake up Peter.

WAKE UP.

I shoot up in a panic, a layer of sweat on top of my body. My breathing is out of control.

I huddle up in a ball, crying and rocking slightly in my bed, trying to calm down. My quote whimpers turn into loud sobbing, and I decide to go onto the roof, that way I won't disturb Aunt May.

I crawl up the side of the building silently, and make it to the roof. I pace back in forth in my pajamas as I try to calm my breathing. I feel a panic attack forming as my sobs interfere with me trying to calm down. I pull at my hair, trying to get me to stop panicking.

After what seemed like hours, I sit on the edge of the building. The lights of the city shine like stars on earth. It's beautiful.

I'm so sick of these nightmares. Each one the same, every night for nearly a year I've had these dreams over and over fucking again. Like happy death day, no escape. No medicine can treat me, Aunt May has already tried. Whenever she gives me a new bottle of pills, I just smile and take them, but they never work. The dreams always come back. Tonight was different, but as I look over the edge, I think.

What if I made it all stop, say I slipped. Slipped off the edge, and fell. Down, down, down. I edge closer to the edge. I just want it to stop.

A sob erupts in my throat again, why is life so hard?

I was crying so hard that I didn't even hear the metal clinking behind me, and I didn't even notice a man call my name until he touched my shoulder gently.

"Peter..?" Mr. Stark says gently, I turn my head towards his face with tear filled eyes. I don't think he's ever really seen me cry.

He lifts me up quickly and pulls me into a hug, and I just let the tears flow, all the pain and suffering was now transformed into tears right here.

As I cried, I told him about the nightmares, about tonight's nightmare. Mr. Stark only nods and hugs tighter and mumbles reassuring words.

Once my loud crying went down to only little sniffles, he sits us both down. I expect him to go into a long, boring talk, but all he said was..

"Nature's first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower; but only so an hour." He begins, the city's lights illuminating his face. "The leaf subsides to leaf, so Eden sank in grief, so dawn goes down to day."

He looks over at me. "Nothing gold can stay."

For some reason, the poem made sense. It was what I needed, like I was thirsty for a long time, and I finally got my water. I nod at him and smile, the first real smile I've given to anyone in months. Don't let me forget to ask him why he's up at 2 am, I note to myself.

(I'm sorry that this is short but I really wanted to get this poem in the book so here it is. Don't forget to vote, comment, and follow!!)