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Brooke never thought that she would be able to feel relief in these hard days, yet when she told Alistair the truth behind everything, it felt like cold water raining down on her after being dragged through hell.
It took Alistair a few minutes to calm down again and be able to function as a normal human being and not an ox. Brooke sat in silence while he spat fire.
"What are you gonna do?" He asked with a low voice.
It was the million dollar question that nobody had the answer to.
"I dunno," Brooke stared. She ran her hand through her blonde hair. "I have to find out who they are but I can't go to the cops."
"I also can't be seen around you because I'm pretty sure they are stalking me." She glanced at him. He was staring intensely at her.
"I-I don't want you to get hurt because of me," She whispered. She finally had the courage to look him in the eye. She stared back at him hoping that he could read into her soul. To see all the doubts she has, all the fears. To glimpse at how much she cares for him, at how much she willing to do to keep him safe and sound.
It was her top priority, for him and her family and friends to be safe from that psycho that is following her.
Alistair extended his shaky hands towards her cheeks. He gently held her face between his hands as she gasped lowly at the contact. Their hearts were hammering, they were like birds, fluttering their wings, threatening to break out of their cages and meet in the middle.
"I will do whatever I can to help you," He whispered. "And I'll be okay, I promise you."
For a second, Alistair forgot that they were actually in his car right in front of her house. He felt like they were floating through space with the stars. It felt surreal to hold her and he wanted to be able to do that forever.
And that's when his heart stopped.
It stopped beating for a millisecond as warm, fuzzy feelings threatened to take him under. It felt like the sunshine was directed at him only, making him blush and warm from head to toes. He didn't just want Brooke back as a friend, he wanted her back as more than that.
"You're too good to me," Brooke felt like it has been years since she smiled genuinely. She had given Alistair her best, softest smile that was the result of his kindness and the bubbly feelings inside of her.
It made Alistair dizzy.
It made him taste stardust and see the universe.
It made him feel better, less lonely and little bit more loved.
And he wanted to kiss that smile, to kiss those lips and drown in the ocean that was her. He wanted to discover her skin, her soul. He wanted so much yet he couldn't risk it.
There was still this fear in his heart that he is going to end up alone. That she is going to leave him. That he is going to get hurt and he was so sick of getting hurt, of feeling miserable, unworthy, useless. He was so sick of being sick.
He pulled away from her, destroying the little corner of the universe that they had built.
He looked down at his lap before turning to face her again. She was staring at him with wide, curious eyes and small smile that made him melt in his seat.
"I'm depressed," He turned to look at his lap again. "I have been going to therapy for a while. It happened two years ago after my dad died." He felt like throwing up as his stomach and guts tossed and turned.
"He was a cop. A good one," He smiled a little remembering how his father used to make him wear the police badge.
"I'm not telling you this because I need fixing or anything like that. I'm telling you because you deserve to know and I won't blame you if you don't want to see me anymore. I'm depressed and it causes me to be anxious, lazy, tired, and unmotivated. It makes me feel like everything is my fault and like I'm a shitty person, and it takes me a lot to gather up the courage to basically do anything but I'm trying to get better for myself, my mom and since recently you.
Because you make me want to be kind and you make see the good in this world and I want to be able to love myself and the world so I could be able to love-" Alistair stopped abruptly, his eyes widened and the air around him felt still as the words almost spilled out of his mouth.
His body isn't his when it comes to her.
"Depression doesn't define who you are," She rested her palm on top of his hand. "And it doesn't change the way I look at you."
"I want to be here for you all the time but as of right now, I don't know what will happen to me or what will happen with that blackmailer. I might not be able to hang out with you as much just so we can be safe," She looked him in the eye. Her eyes shone with sincerity and promises of love and affection.
Alistair appreciated the honesty. It was so much better than the false caring and pity that he receives normally. It made him feel good that he wasn't treated like a baby or a broken thing anymore.
In a moment of spontaneity, he wrapped his arms around her in a bone-crushing hug, he hoped it sent the message of appreciation that he felt.
Brooke hugged him back with just as much as force as he did.
Both of them knew that this was no ordinary friendship, at least not anymore, but they also knew that it wasn't the right time to make it anything else as both of them were in battles with their own troubles.
They didn't want to ruin a beautiful thing by timing it wrong so the best thing to do is wait and fight for love and freedom.
