When It Rains • Geetrick

8

June 28th, 2005

Las Cruces, New Mexico

11th day of tour

"We're going down, down."

"Down, down."

"Down, down."

"Down, down."

"We're going down, down."

"Down, down."

"A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it.

"We're going down, down in an earlier roundAnd Sugar, we're going down swingingI'll be your number one with a bulletA loaded god complex cock it and pull it."

I strum my guitar one last time while Pete does the same and everyone starts applauding us quietly. I'm halfway breathless but not near as much as I would be if I was onstage. The bonfire is bright in my eyes, orange and yellow flame, red and black embers. The warmth shining in my face and Gerar is beside me with a smile on his face and his hands together.

I return the guitar to Frank who takes it gratefully and begins strumming random chords as a little bit of background music. I doubt I'll be able to stay for long, though, because Gerard's practically been begging for me.

"We're gonna get outta here soon and I'm gonna shove myself down your filthy throat and fuck your face until your choking on my cock." Gerard whispers casually into my ear, resting his hand right over my crotch.

I let out a shaky breath and lean back, swallowing.

"I want you on your knees right here, right now, so I can show them just how much of a slut you are. You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Gerard," I hiss as my bulge begins to grow and I have to cover it with my sweatshirt so nobody else sees.

"It's true though, huh? You're getting harder and harder for me by the moment and you need me. You need my cock."

"Stop it!" I yell rather loudly, standing up and glaring at him with my hands in fists, "Just stop for a fucking second, would you? I don't want to do it right now!"

I realize soon after that everybody is watching me, the guitar is stopped and the crackling of the fire is the only sound.

Gerard looks startled with his mouth open, speechless.

I sigh and grab my hat from my seat before walking away from the fire, frustrated. I've been stressed, honestly, with all the shows and Gerard and Pete and Mikey are always out. I just need a break. I'm so close to breaking down. To telling Gerard to fuck off and never talk to me again, but I know I can't. No matter how much I want to, I can't because... well...

He means a lot to me, and I don't want to lose him quite yet.
I'm so fucked.