When It Rains • Geetrick

9

July 6th, 2005Long Beach, California19th day of tourCalifornia State Long Beach
"Set outside my front windowThis story's going somewhereHe's well hung and I am hanging," Pete, "on!There's a song on the radio that says 'Let's get this party started'So let's get this party started."

Andy and Pete get into a steady rhythm, Joe and I following right beside them.

"What you do in your own time's just fineMy imagination's much worse I just never want to know."

My eyes flicker up from my mic to see a certain raven haired boy in the crowd staring right back at me, guilt in his eyes, hands crossed over his chest, and a scared gaze in his eyes.

"And what meant the world had foldedLike legs and fingers holding on toWhat escapes me what he has:A better kiss that never lasts."

I shut my eyes, I'm out of it. I feel like I'm going to faint. I feel like I'm going to scream. I just need to sing my heart out and try not to worry too much.

Bridge...
"You said between your smiles and regrets'Don't say it's over'Dead and goneDead and gone yeah"

Chorus, just try not to fumble over your words.

"The calm before the storm, set it offAnd the sun burnt out tonightA reception less than warm, set it offAnd the sun burnt out tonight,"

Verse.

"This is me standing in the arch of the doorHating that look that's on your faceThat says there's another fool like meThere's one born every minuteThere's one born every minute."

Bridge... I think...

"What you do on your own time's just fineMy imaginations much worseI just never want to know (never want to know)What meant the world implodedInflated then demoted all myOxygen to product gasAnd suffocated my last chance,
"You said between your smiles and regrets'Don't say it's over'Dead and goneDead and gone yeah,

Chorus...

"Calm before the storm (set it of, set it off)Calm before the storm (set it off, set it off),"The calm before the storm, set it offAnd the sun burnt out tonightA reception less than warm set it offAnd the sun burnt out tonight
"Sun burnt out tonightThe sun burnt out tonight"

Pete screams somewhere in the last few stanzas, and I'm left holding my mic at the end while Pete says goodbye, and we walk behind stage to case our instruments and grab water.

"Hey, 'Trick."

I blink and try to defog my mind as I look to Joe who has a worried look on his soft face, "You alright? You fucked up a few times through the song..."

I shake my head, "Just a little dehydrated I guess."

He eyes me suspiciously and scratches the back of his head, "Look, 'Trick. I know something's wrong. It's easy to tell. Ever since the bonfire, you've been acting off. I'm worried about you, man."

I shake my head again, "It's fine."

"Patrick-"

"It's fine! Forget about it." I snap with a glare.

He sighs and grabs my wrist before pulling me aside where nobody else can hear us. His afro bouncing as we go and dust kicking up behind him.

As soon as we're out of hearing range, he stops and turns to me, "What's up, Patrick? What did Gerard do to you?"

I rub my eyes, stressfully, and let my fingers trail through my hair, tipping off my hat which I quickly catch.

"Him. Us... I don't know." I whisper.

"What happened? Tell me start to end. I won't judge you, dude, I'm here for you." Joe replies.

I look away uncomfortably and lean back against a nearby wall.

"We were horny one night at the second bonfire. He invited me for sex. I agreed. We did the deed. I kind of regretted it but I tried not to let it get to me. That night when we went out into the rain, he gave me a blowjob and I agreed I'd do the same for him. The night I snapped at him, he was asking for me and talking dirty and I finally snapped because I just... I don't want to have sex with him." I grit my teeth as I state the last sentence and keep avoiding Joe's gaze.

He swallows, "Why did you regret it? Did you really not want to have sex? Or is it something more...?"

I shove my hands in my pockets awkwardly, hesitating on whether or not to accept these intruding emotions, or ignore them. I want to choose the latter. I really want to, but I can't. Not yet, anyway. It's wrong, we're just friends, friends with benefits, nothing more, probably something less now because of me. I shouldn't choose the former but I have to because... it's really the only acceptable answer...

"I didn't want to have sex with him." I whisper.

"Did you say no?"

"N-No..."

Joe sighs, "The best thing I can tell you is to apologize and say you don't want to have sex anymore."

I nod, "O-Okay..."

"Good luck."

"Thanks."