Possessive™ | Y.J. + C.S.

17™

It had been a few weeks since since Joshua had let Jeonghan go, he had returned back to his mothers at that point. She had welcomed him back with loving arms, crying for hours while asking him tons of questions.

Jeonghan didn't answer any.

He couldn't. He would drag what had happened with him to the grave.

He knew he didn't want to return to school for a while, but another part of him was telling him he should just rip off the band-aid. To just suck it up and get it over with. Ultimately he decided to wait a week, and only a week. 

Now at halfway through said week he had never left his room. In fact, he had stayed in the same spot the whole time, just frozen there. Not crying. Not shaking in fear. Just sitting there evaluating his whole situation.

Once he went back to school, what would happen? What rumors had spread about his disappearance? Then again he wasn't gone for as long as it felt like. In fact, there's a big chance that nobody even noticed. He didn't want to think about how hard it was going to be to be surrounded by a bunch of unsuspecting students as he's silently screaming. 

__

Jeonghan couldn't be more scared then at this very moment. His breathing was faltering and his eyes seemed void of tears even though he wanted to cry so badly. The tight feeling in chest made him want to vomit. 

It was currently 4 am and he hadn't even thought about getting any sleep. It was the very day he had to go back to school and he didn't know if he could truly handle it. He wanted to tell himself throughout the the entire week that it would be ok.

He realized very quickly that his dreams were futile.

His brain had decided to worry itself to the point of self destruction, and now he was at a loss of any coherent thoughts. The only thing on his mind was time.

Is my time up?

What time is it now?

Is it time to leave yet?

He was just asking himself the same question over and over in different ways. He truly believed it was because his brain didn't have the ability to process any other information.

Jeonghan squirmed around in his bed, the covers and pillows currently thrown across the room. He was sweating buckets and no fan nor open window seemed to cool him down.

Trying to see through his dark room made his vision seem as if it was crackling. The ceiling seemed to be glittering as he blinked through his newly forming tears.

He could feel his nose starting to close as he began to feel himself cry. The sobs ripped through his body in waves, the tears water-falling off the sides of his face, wetting his mattress. 

I'm not strong enough for this. 

____

I have no words. Well I guess I do.

I literally started this in like February... April is now almost over. 

I did make it short on purpose. So sorry for throwing a filler chapter at you but it is necessary to build the next chapter.

Anyways, I've gotten my shit together and I'll try to start posting more chapters.