Can't hate you || e.d

Positive Negative

Sun

The next two days passed really quickly. Probably because I spent them with Mika. It's not like I spent them with him because I was mad at Dean. It wasn't a payback or something because I would've never done that to hurt him or betray him or anything else. I was already feeling awful because of the kiss in his car when he came in the middle of the night.

I felt awful because I felt that kiss.. I meant.. I didn't regret it or hate it. I actually liked it and wanted it in that moment but I was sure that it was just an affect of the moment..

Dean called me two times. I missed the first call because I couldn't get out of the shower in time but I didn't call him back because he was probably still busy. I answered the second call but I was cold as fuck because I wanted him to know how pissed and hurt I was. If he left to party he could've just said it because I wouldn't have had no problem with that but hiding it from me and being that rude... was a no-go. I would've understood it if he would've been sleeping but he wasn't sleeping so he could've taken a minute to listen to me or at least told me that he would cal me back.

Anyway.. he didn't apologize or talk about that night. I even assumed that he forgot it because he had a black out from too much alcohol but it didn't seem like that. He knew that he did something wrong but he didn't talk about it.. so I let it be. For now. I was going to talk to him about it as soon as he was going to be back.

Meanwhile, I was spending most of my free time with Mika. He even helped me to study while he was dealing with his own finals. He had to study and do a lot of research but he said he wanted me to be with him during that time. That was cute...

He was sitting at the end of the couch with his history book and notes in his hands while I was laying next to him with my legs thrown over his thighs and a really interesting book in my hand.

He put his hand on my inner thigh, what made me freeze for a second. I slowly put the book on my chest and looked at him but he was still reading his notes, totally concentrated. I swallowed and his hand went even lower... I wasn't sure if he was doing it on purpose or just because it was comfortable for him but I felt the tingles in my stomach..

I picked the book up again and tried to find the line that I stopped in but I couldn't stop thinking about his hand on my thigh.. it wasn't that dramatic, I mean I was wearing ripped jeans but his touch gave me goosebumps. His hand was warm and so big..

A million thoughts went through my head but non of them were acceptable for me because I had a damn boyfriend who was at a place that I didn't know.

I never thought about going further than kissing with anybody else than Dean. I didn't even think about kissing anybody else than Dean. I meant really kissing, not this fake stuff without any feelings that I've been doing with Mika... but that touch did things to me that I didn't like. It made me feel some type of way..

Y/n

"I think we should get a Christmas tree!" I said and turned around to look at Ethan, who was carrying my shopping bags. I loved that he wasn't even pissed about carrying them. Even tho they were full and heavy as fuck, he didn't complain or seem exhausted.

"We should get a huge one and decorate one half together to let the kids decorate the other half. I think they would be happy about it!" I said with a huge smile and now he seemed exhausted and annoyed.

"Don't you dare to think that I'm going to carry around a tree with me now." he said and I laughed. He loaded everything into the trunk of our car and looked at me to continue.