Can't hate

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Sun

Two days were left until Christmas.

Moon told me about what happened and I almost died. I couldn't believe my ears. It was crazy. It was more than crazy.. but it was also pretty emotional. Even I wanted to believe Skylar. God damn.. Silver. As long as Moon was happy I was happy too..

I remembered how I wanted to beat her up the next time I saw her but that wasn't an option anymore.

Mom stayed at grandma but came back in the morning. I didn't know why she stayed at grandma. She said that grandma was sick and needed her but somehow I couldn't believe her. I wasn't mad because she wasn't home to be there for me. At the end this all wasn't easy for her either and sometimes she needed her mom too.

Unfortunately Dean and I barely talked. Actually we didn't talk at all. He only asked me how I am and I asked him the same. That was all. Like two strangers.. but I could feel that something changed.. I wasn't sure what it was.. maybe nothing changed and I was just being paranoid but I really wanted to believe that things were going to be okay between us.

Dad said he visited him. I asked him about what happened but he didn't want to tell me. I was so curious and I begged him to tell me what happened but he told me that I needed to be patient.

I didn't go to school after what happened and I wasn't planning to go until next year. I needed time too. A lot happened. Not only with Dean. But my whole life was something that I needed to let sink in..

I was going to fight for him. I was going to do anything to get him back. To show him that I would do anything for him.

I still didn't talk to Mika. He called me a few times but I didn't answer. I wasn't going to answer. Never again.

I was making plans. Things I could do to fix our relationship.

I was sitting on the ground with a notebook in front of me. I decided to write down every idea that I had. I thought about making playlists for him, sending him cookies, buying him a car or sending him love notes. Unfortunately this all seemed really childish and weird. It wasn't enough. It wasn't going to fix anything. I needed to do more. I needed to find something real that was going to change something.

The love notes were something I was going to keep. I was going to write him letters. A hundred thousand if I had to. I was going to tell him everything. My feelings for him. Things I couldn't put in words. Maybe I was going to draw something to represent it instead of explaining it.

Someone knocked on my door.

"Come in!" I said and turned my head around. Moon walked in with a pink box in his hands. He closed the door behind him and walked towards me. I looked confused while he sat down across from me and handed me the box.

"What is this?" I asked and he shrugged. "Open it and find out." he said and smiled. It was such a soft moment that I felt inner peace for a second.

It was so weird.. I didn't feel it in such a long time.. and it didn't feel right to be happy while Dean wasn't with me.

"But there are still two days left to Christmas." I said and squeezed my hair behind my ear. "It's not a Christmas present. I just felt like you would need this." he said.

I put it on the ground and opened it.

I couldn't help but laugh when I saw that the box was filled with makeup. Products from Mac, NYX, YSL, Jeffree Star and others caught my eye.

"Are you trying to tell me that I'm ugly or something? You didn't have to do me like that." I said, still laughing and he just watched me. He leaned on the wall behind him and smiled. "Luna helped me. I had no clue what these fucking things mean like the hell is baking powder? You baking a cake or sum?" I bursted out in laugher. He was really the weirdest boy I've ever seen.

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