Play The Game (A Boyf Riends Fanfic)

Part 28

(Michael's POV)

          It opened.

          I stood up as fast as humanly possible and ran inside, not prepared for what I was about to see.

          Jeremy was there, thankfully alive, but he also looked so broken. A little bit of blood was dripping from his left wrist, but only from two cuts. The blade he used was on the floor, right in front of him. There were tears dripping off his face and onto the floor, but he was frozen. He had his face covered with his hands.

          At that point, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know whether to run over to him and clean him up, or take him to a hospital, or let him have some space, or to just wait here with him until he felt better. I really wanted to just run over and hug the crap out of him, but when I was in his shoes, I know I didn't want someone to touch me.

          I decided to take the slow approach.

          "Jeremy.... It's Michael.... I'm here...." I decided to start with, inching closer to him but keeping a good amount of space between us. He didn't move a muscle. "Jeremy...." Silence.

What do I do? I don't know what I should.... Oh god, what am I supposed to do?

I took a deep breath and quietly walked over to Jeremy. I sat down on my knees right in front of him and tossed the blade in the sink. I softly grabbed his hands as I started singing.

          "....... Friend, please remove your hands from over your eyes for me...." I slowly moved his hands down to our laps. As I started singing again, I softly and slowly wrapped my arms around Jeremy's shoulders, softly hugging him. He still didn't move. "I know you want to leave but friend, please don't take your life away from me...." And with that, he gently placed his hands on my back and hugged me. He barely used any force at first, but with every second that passed, he grasped onto my shirt even harder.

After Jeremy calmed down a little, I stood him up and cleaned up his arm, washing out the cuts and bandaging them . Then I washed the pocket knife and closed it, putting it in my pocket. I walked us back to the dorm room and we both sat down on the couch. Jeremy couldn't stop sniffling and wiping his eyes, so I presumed he was still upset, which makes sense. Therefore, I decided it was best not to talk about it with him just yet, but I was keeping a close watch on him, catching him subconsciously tracing old scars on his forearm which made me worry.

(Jeremy's POV)

          God, Jeremy, you idiot. Why'd you do that? Well you shouldn't even have to answer because it's right there. You're so stupid. You're so pathetic. That's why you slice up your arm like that. You're so useless. You really should kill yourself. And maybe not fail again like just now. Like how you fail everything in your life. Do it. Kill yourself. And don't wuss out this time. Do something right for once in your stupid, pathetic life.

          "Jeremy?" Michael called quietly from the other side of the couch.

          I looked down at my hands to realize I started crying while my mind was running loose. I quickly wiped my eyes with the palm of my hand. I looked over in Michael's direction but didn't meet his eyesight. I stayed quiet to signify I was listening.

          "Do you feel safe?"

          Oh yeah definitely, it's not like I internally just fought with myself to come to the conclusion that I should kill myself. It's not like I literally almost just killed myself a few minutes ago. It's not like my emotional and mental state is breaking down right before my own very eyes.