How trying to sell a legendary hero's sword led me to battle the Demon Lord

18 - Late night pondering in the middle of our journey

It was starting to get dark, so we stopped walking for the day. Honestly, what an uneventful journey this was... I didn't think being a hero would involve walking for days on end while being unsure about when we'll arrive at our destination or when a monster or demon will appear before us... This sucks! And the three of us barely talk to each other during that time... I haven't heard a single word from both of them in about 10 hours now.

From what I can see, it's about midnight right now... I can see it on my cellphone... But really! What a weird object this is! I know I've been saying this a lot, but I'm honestly confused. This little thing can do so much! It's unbelievable! Why did the king give something like this to me!? I'm not worthy of something like this! But now is not the time to ponder about matters such as this! I need to sleep so that I can continue walking tomorrow! But I don't want to! This sucks! This really sucks! My feet are sore... They hurt like hell! When is this finally going to end!?

I finally lie down in the grass. This isn't the most comfortable bed, like in that inn, but it'll do. Dug lies down besides me while Andrew lies down a bit further away. We were all tired from today's boring, uneventful walk, but in the end we were now all watching the stars. Normally, at this moment, in any generic story, we would all see a shooting star flying across the sky. That didn't happen. The stars stayed very still. Just like us right now. I wonder if, in reality, our long journey only amounts to that: staying still. Are we actually moving forward? If so, when will we finally arrive at our destination?

As if he was reading my thoughts, Dug reassured me: "Boss? Just wanted to tell you that we'll arrive soon enough, I'm sure! It shouldn't take that long to get to the Demon Lord's castle!"

"I know, but... I can't do anything but worry, can I?"

"It should be fine! Boss just needs to calm down!"

"I guess... But this walking is sure proving itself to be really boring..."

"Then why didn't Boss just take a car?"

"I don't know how to drive..."

"Then a carriage?"

"Oh... That's right! I did receive a carriage as a gift, didn't I? Where did I put it? Did I just leave it where it was...? Oh well..."

The conversation stopped for a second and silence took over. Not even the wind was making a noise. It felt as though time had stopped. I finally resumed:

"We'll be OK. Will we?"

"Yeah. I'm sure we will, Boss! And by the way, who's that guy with a pot on his head that's been following us for a while now?"

"Wait! What!? You haven't even introduced each other yet!?"

"No..."

I turned to Andrew, who was already sleeping:

"Hey! Andrew! Wake up!"

"What is it!? Demons!?"

"No, just come here!"

He reluctantly got up and walked over to us. He sat down just at the right of us. "What is it?" he said "Huh? Who's that?"

"Did you not even realize he was here!?"

"No! Why would I!?"

"Because he's been here since we left the capital!"

"So... He's a demon?"

"No he's not! He's Dug!"

"Oh. OK."

"He's also called: Dug the hellfire bull."

"Hell... So he's a demon?"

"No he's not!"

Dug, now visibly annoyed, was still sitting there, trying not to burst. If he did, his arm would probably fly at Andrew's face, just like a rock hitting... a face... So yeah... That'd probably hurt... He says:

"Look! I don't know you... But I think that when you look at me, you can't really call me a demon, can you?"

"Maybe you're a demon in disguise!"

Dug is looking at me like he wants to try and get my permission to punch him. I intervened:

"Look! Andrew! Dug is NOT a demon. He's 100% human. Now then! Let's introduce you two to each other for real this time! Andrew, this is Dug. Dug, this is Andrew. OK!? Now, I know you didn't start off on a high note, if that's something, but from now on, be sure to get along. Alright?"

"Alright..." they both said at the same time, almost...

"So..." Dug asked "What's so special about you as a warrior? What weapon do you specialize in?"

Oh! That's right! I never asked him that! I do wonder...

"The pitchfork," Andrew answered.

Dug and I probably both looked visibly confused as we heard his answer. I clearly remember him using a pitchfork on me when we met, but I didn't think it was anything special...

"That's your... weapon of choice?" Dug asked.

"Yeah... But I can also wield daggers..."

We were both trying to hold back our laughter as this just seemed kind of stupid, honestly...

"What can you do with a pitchfork?" Dug asked.

"Well... You can use the pointy bits at the top to stab, you can use the stick to hit, you can throw it or slash it. It's a very versatile tool." Andrew answered.

A wheeze escaped my mouth and Dug just kept laughing and couldn't stop. He asked, still laughing: "So, are you, like, the world's best pitchforksman?"

We couldn't stop laughing, until Andrew said, with the most serious face: "Yes, actually!"

We stopped laughing. Dug and I looked at each other. I whispered to him:

"Wait... So he actually is? This has to be a joke, right?"

"Well... He does seem pretty serious to me, Boss..."

"Maybe, but he might be faking it..."

"I don't think he is, Boss... And honestly, I hope it's true, because how funny would it be to fight alongside a fucking pitchfork specialist!"

"Yeah... That's right..."

We both turned back to Andrew, both in shock and amazement. How the hell did we come across the one pitchfork specialist!? Shortly after that, we each went back to our "beds" to finally sleep because had been talking for too long, but the world wouldn't let us...