the umbrella academy imagines

vii. ghostin' (ben)

a/n: okay so i have a few requests which i was set on writing on but i came up with this idea when i was about to fall asleep and i had to write it. based on ariana grande's song ghostin' (i'm so obsessed with that song honestly). this one will be told in 'you'.
warnings: angsty!!!!!!!!!! and kinda long
requested: no

I know you hear me when I cry
I try to hold it in at night

It wasn't everyday you saw the Umbrella kids altogether again. As you were childhood friends with them, it was strange to go from seeing them everyday, to never at all. Only ever at weddings or funerals really. Today I guess was a funeral day. You had heard about the death of Sir Reginald from the newspapers, and it was hard to say you were sad. In fact, you were glad that he was dead so that he could stop emotionally (and sometimes physically) abusing his children. All the kids confided in you about him and his abuse. Two boys in particular. Klaus and Ben were your two closest friends growing up, and you guys did everything together. They snuck over to your house late at night so you could watch movies, eat junk food, and pretend that Klaus and Ben didn't have superpowers. They could pretend to be normal for a night, hanging out with you and talking about life. It's what made it that much harder when Ben died. It was a few years back now when Klaus had come to see you in person. He invited you back to the Academy, afraid you'd do something you'd regret in your time of sadness. You put on a strong face for him when he told you, but when he left you alone in your room when he went to bed, walls broke down and you cried for hours. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw him standing in front of you with that adorable grin of his. You hadn't even had the chance to tell him that you loved him.

While you're sleepin' next to me
But it's your arms that I need this time (this time)

It took Klaus some time before he told you that he could see Ben. At first you were angry that he had kept such a big secret, but when you saw the look of pain and sadness on his face, your anger immediately turned to guilt. Imagine seeing your dead brother 24/7? Falling alseep that night was not easy considering on what you knew. You thought you felt the tips of Ben's fingers ghosting up and down your arms as a way of comforting you, but you put it down to being your imagination. All you wanted was for Ben to be able to touch you one last time. One more hug, one more high five, anything. But of course, he couldn't.

Look at the cards that we've been dealt
If you were anybody else

Walking up to the steps of the Academy, you questioned why you were really there. Was it so comfort the grieving family? (Yeah right) or was it just so that you could see Klaus in hopes that he could see Ben? (Probably). Pogo had whisked you in and into the family room quicker then you could realise. You were enveloped in hugs from the family, even a kiss on the cheek from Grace. As grateful as you were to see them, Klaus was the only person you were searching for. You two had lost contact about a year ago, and after a while you stopped trying to look for him in rehab centres, so you settled for imaging Ben next to you whenever you could. What had you done to someone in a past life to get dealt these cards of despair? You found Klaus lazily laying on the couch, cigarette in his mouth. You looked at him, waiting for him to point where Ben was sitting. His eyes avoided yours.

Probably wouldn't last a day
Every tear's a rain parade from hell (From hell)

Why had you held on to the thought that you might still be able to be with Ben? You should've moved on from him years ago. Sure, you've had relationships here and there, but you've never been able to fully commit to anyone. Every tear which you've shed, it's been for him. You wished Klaus would acknowledge you. The entire family was talking about god knows what, and all you're doing is sitting on a couch trying to hold in your tears.