Peter Parker OneShots!

Field Trip To Hell.

Warnings: uhhhh it's gay. Spideypool. Slight language warning.

Description: Peter and his class go on a field trip. It may be more than one part. I know this is cliche, blah blah blah.
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"I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. This is it Ned. At my funeral, play Shake Dat Ass." Peter groaned.

"Why am I playing Shake Dat Ass?" Ned asked. His confused tone made Peter laugh.

"Just cuz." Peter replied. He glared at the seat in-front of him before talking. "Tony's gonna take every chance he gets to embarrass me."

"Well we are on a trip to his tower."

"I just wanted one normal day!" Peter shouted.

The bus went quiet. A loud laugh erupted. "Penis? Normal? When? Seriously though, you faking this Stark internship is getting out of hand Parker." Flash glowered.

"Your lie will unfold soon Mr.Parker," Mrs.Lannister started angrily, "Students! We are approaching the tower entrance. I expect all of you on your best behavior." She finished and glared angrily at Peter.

^___^______^______^

"Hello students!" Catelyn (Cat-Auh-lyn) Exclaimed, her voice bubbling with excitement. "I'm your guide for today, Catelyn." She started, "I'll take you around the lower levels of the tower, offices, the mini museum, and even a lower training area," She continued as her eyes scanned the crowd bewildered as she met eyes with Peter Parker. She started again in shock. "E-Everyone needs a guest pass to get around. As I speak, your teacher will pass them out," she handed the teacher a box of white laminated Ids. "There are five levels. Omega, the lowest, is used for guest and tours. Zeta, the fifth highest, is used for undergrads, incoming business men, and the government. Gamma, the fourth highest, is used for low level interns and staff. Delta, the third highest, is used for higher level interns and staff that works close to the Stark's. Beta, the second highest, is for Avengers that don't visit too often, and the Avengers families. Alpha, the highest, was only allowed to three people. Happy Hogan, Pepper Potts, and one other classified being." She finished.

"Excuse me Mrs.Catelyn. There is no pass addressed to Mr.Parker." Mrs.Lannister belted.

"Mr.Parker has a pass. I trust you have it Peter, you know Happys rules."

"I do..." Peter replied pulling out his metal red and blue pass, it read "THE KID". Peter blushed.

"Now, I'll walk through the scanner, then you'll all follow. Peter you're last." Catelyn walked through the scanner. "STARK, CATELYN, SECURITY LEVEL DELTA, NO WEAPONS." F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice boomed from the ceiling. The class jumped, excluding Peter.

As everyone scanned their passes, it was Peters turn.

Peter walked forward ready to scan. "Baby Boy! Welcome back! Wade is hiding in your lab. Dad wants-" "FRIDAY, MUTE" Peter yelled. He ran forward towards the private elevator.

"MR.PARKER. STOP AT ONCE!" Peter halted and turned to see Mrs.Lannisters face bright red. "Where do you think you're going?!" "You can't leave the group?!"She screeched.

"I'm going to go pull a psycholathic murderer out of my lab." Peter replied. "Come if you must."

"Looks like we're taking the detour..."Catelyn commented.

As Peter and his class made their way upstairs, they passed the Avengers common room. "Hey! Маленький паук! Where are yo-" why are there children with you?" Natasha questioned. "Это мой класс мама паук. Я собираюсь вытащить Уэйда из моей лаборатории ..." Peters reply was in Russian, Natasha understood and Bucky burst out laughing in the background. (This is my class Mama spider. I'm going to pull Wade out of my lab.)

Peter and his class continued forward. Both Mrs.Lannister and Flash were silent. The whole class bewildered that they had met an Avenger, and Penis spoke Russian. Tony's lab came into view, it was labeled "BOSS MAN". Under the bold words read "The Kids Lab". Peter swiped his access card and the class entered.

"Mr.Stark!" Peter looked around for Tony. "Are you in here?" He questioned. "Over here kid!" Tony belted from around the corner.

"Fri told me you were home, but I didn't know if she was just glitching, cause she said Wade was in th-" Tony paused upon looking up from his work. "Peter have you and Wade been" Tony was cut off by Peter. "Mr.Stark! That's not even- you know what. Nevermind. We're gonna go pull Wade out of my lab." Peter stopped and grabbed Tony's Arm.

The class walked forward towards a door labeled, "BABY BOYS LAB". Peter swiped his card "Fri, activate Class Protocol." (This hides his Spider-Man stuff). Peter waked over towards a closet. He opened it and out fell a very large body in red spandex. "Deadpool. Out." Deadpool looked up at Peter. "BABY BOY! I'm glad your home. Are these your friends?!" Deadpool asked.

"Wade. Out. Now." Peter replied.

"No."

"Wade."

"Call me by my name."

"Wade no."

"Then I'm not Leaving."

"Fuck you."

"Maybe Later Baby boy."

"Get out."

"Call me by my name and I'll leave Baby boy."

"Fine. Get out Daddy."

Peters class looked towards the chestnut haired boy in surprise. Tony bust out laughing. But ended with a serious face.

Deadpool then grabbed Peter by the waist and screeched. "THIS BITCH EMPTY." Deadpool then threw Peter out the open window.

Peters class just stared in horror, knowing Peter was gonna fall to his death. Tony looked like he was ready to murder Deadpool. Though it wasn't long till Peter came flying back through the window on a web screaming. "YEEEET" Peter threw himself at Deadpool and slung a web over his mouth.

Flash the yelled "WHAT THE FUCK." To which a loud "LANGUAGE" came from the living room.

Tony then briefly explained that if any of this got out, everyone would have an angry Avenger at their doorstep. Flash responded by asking Tony "How the fuck is penis Spider-man!?" Tony then have the kid a very nice lecture, and by that, I mean Peter had to hold his father back from killing the poor kid. "Dad calm down." The words slipped Peters Mouth.

"Did you just call him dad!?" The class shouted.
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Hey. Sorry this was long overdue...I'll leave an A/N as the next chapter to explain more on what was happening with me. I'm sorry for the wait. There were a lot of problems the past few weeks...

Word Count: 1058

~El.