Jonah / Jorbyn - Anorexia

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Fat.

That's the only thing Jonah thought when he looked in the mirror. Being the oldest in the band, no one thought he would feel this way, they all assumed that he wouldn't worry about something as petty as how much he weighs. But he does... a lot. He can't stand the idea of gaining weight, getting any fatter than he already was.

He stands shirtless in front of the mirror, turning sideways and looking at his chest in different angles. He pokes at the awkward skin on his hips, watching his finger sink in slightly. This causes a frown to place itself on his face, and he swallows slightly. His eyebrows furrow as he continues examining his arms and stomach, his frown only deepening.

Suddenly, the bathroom door swings open, causing Jonah to jump back in shock. He tries covering his upper body with his shirt, seeing Corbyn at the door. Corbyn's eyes rake over Jonah's body, making the elder frown in embarrassment.

"Corbyn!" Jonah exclaims in shock, his voice high. Corbyn looks up at him suddenly, sending him a small smile that isn't reciprocated.

"Sorry dude, hadn't realised you were in here. We're going for a swim to test out the new pumps, you coming?" Corbyn says, his smile not faltering. Jonah's jaw tightens and he breathes out softly, quickly pulling on his shirt to feel more comfortable.

"Um, I-I don't know." Jonah mumbles, not really feeling up to seeing all the lads shirtless, knowing it would only make him feel worse about himself. This does cause Corbyn's smile to falter slightly, as he looks at Jonah in confusion.

"But... you were so excited the other day when they were getting put in." Corbyn says quietly, sensing that something was wrong. Jonah swallows slightly, scared that Corbyn would be able to see right through him.

"I-I know, b-but... um... okay, okay, fine, I'll come." Jonah gives in, his voice shaky. Corbyn comes slightly closer to him, placing his hand on Jonah's arm.

"Don't feel forced, you don't have to." He murmurs, making Jonah gulp silently and look down at the floor.

"I'll see you down there." Jonah mumbles, brushing past Corbyn to try and end the awkward conversation. Well, awkward for him at least. As soon as he's locked in his room, he feels his heart drop slightly. Now he's agreed to go swimming with his fit bandmates whilst he's looking fatter than ever. He groans as he reluctantly changes into his swimming trunks, taking a deep breath in.

Okay, you can do this Jonah, just be confident. He thinks to himself. With one final breath in, he begins his trajectory downstairs, seeing the lads waiting by the glass door, all of them shirtless and whispering slightly. The whispering stops when they notice Jonah's presence. Jonah frowns slightly, despite all the guilty smiles sent his way. The silence is awkward as they stand motionless, before Jonah breaks eye contact and walks outside. The warm spring air meets him as he walks over to the large pool, placing his towel down by one of the chairs. He jumps slightly when Zach runs past him and cannonballs into the water, quickly followed by the others. A soft chatter fills the air as they all laugh and chat, awaiting Jonah's arrival so they can start up the water pumps.

"C'mon Jo!" Zach calls over, a large, toothy grin on his face. Jonah smiles slightly, simply loving when his best friends are happy, but feels nervous as he shakily strips his shirt off. He can't help but feel like all the boys are staring at his body as he gets into the water quickly, but he can't bare looking up. He stays tense, even once he's in the water, his breathing shallow and gasps.

That's when he decides something has to change; he has to lose weight, and fast.

***

Jonah starts his plan that same night, after Zach brings up something that makes his stomach drop. They all sit around on the sofas, some insanely good smelling pizzas on the tables in front of them. Most of the boys had already tucked in, stuffing as many greasy pieces as they can fit onto their plates. Jonah grabs one to avoid suspicion, and for a second he's actually tempted to eat it, after looking at it for a good minute. What harm could one slice do?

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