Loving a wolf

Chapter 17 finale

I sat there and put my headphones in. All I wanted was to disappear. I listened to monster by imagine dragons and I started singing softly.
Ever since I could remember
Everything inside of me
Just wanted to fit in (oh oh oh oh)
I was never one for pretenders
Everything I tried to be
Just wouldn't settle in (oh oh oh oh)

If I told you what I was
Would you turn your back on me?
And if I seem dangerous
Would you be scared?
I get the feeling just because
Everything I touch isn't dark enough
If this problem lies in me

I'm only a man with a candle to guide me
I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me
A monster, a monster
I've turned into a monster
A monster, a monster
And it keeps getting stronger

Can I clear my conscience
If I'm different from the rest
Do I have to run and hide? (oh oh oh oh)
I never said that I want this
This burden came to me
And it's laid its home inside (oh oh oh oh)

If I told you what I was
Would you turn your back on me?
And if I seem dangerous
Would you be scared?
I get the feeling just because
Everything I touch isn't dark enough
If this problem lies in me

I'm only a man with a candle to guide me
I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me
A monster, a monster
I've turned into a monster
A monster, a monster
And it keeps getting stronger

I'm only a man with a candle to guide me
I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me
A monster, a monster
I've turned into a monster
A monster, a monster
And it keeps getting stronger

I felt like a monster. Everything I loved is gone. I couldn't save my friends and I couldn't save my family . I felt fucking hopeless... I couldn't do anything right I didn't deserve happiness. I'm so tired of faking this damn smile everyday. I can't handle this pain anymore and it's devouring me.
   Tears left my eyes as I got up and grabbed a small knife from raphs ninja weapons closet. " I'm so sorry Raphael I love you but I'm not happy anymore." I grabbed a pen and paper and quickly wrote a note. I cried as I walked to the bathroom and locked the door behind me.
   I sat next to the tub and cried more. I couldn't take it anymore I drew the blade up my arms slitting my wrists. I sat there letting the blood wash on the floor. My breath slowed down and my heart began to fade. I closed my eyes with a smile on my face. " I can finally be happy" my heart beat stopped along with my breath. I died and fell limp on the bathroom floor.
Raph POV
I woke up and noticed ( y/n) was gone. I didn't think much of it I thought she was using the bathroom or getting a snack. I yawned and got up noticing a piece of paper on my nightstand. It was her hand writing.
Dear Raphael,
  I love you but I'm not happy. I can't fake this damn smile anymore I'm so sorry. Tell everyone I love them.
Love (y/n)
Tears threatened to fall and I ran to the bathroom and tried opening the door. It was locked. I panicked and kicked the door down. The door slammed hard on the floor and I saw my beautiful angel on the ground surrounded by blood. I screamed and woke everyone up. I ran to her holding her dead body in my arms tears falling. I couldn't save my precious angel.
Leo POV
I heard a scream and jumped out of bed and ran to the source sword in hand. What I saw shattered my heart. Raph was holding (y/n)s dead body and he was crying. Mikey and don ran out of their rooms along with Tiffany. Tiffany fell to the ground crying. Donnie looked horrified. Mikey fell to his knees crying and screaming. I walked to Raph and put a hand on his shoulder as tears fell down my face.
    " we gotta buy her... it's to late to save her she's long gone. We can bury her with splinter" Donnie said and looked down.  Raph held her closer to him refusing to lose her forever. " why didn't she talk to me... why did she leave me" he cried.
~~~~ time skip to the next day at the funeral ~~~~
Raph POV
We went to the same spot we had  splinters funeral. Everyone came. Karai. April. Casey. The mutaniamls. They all told me how sorry they were for my lose... I couldn't take it anymore. I ran to the creek where me and (y/n) first kissed and I broke down. My darling angel was gone forever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ authors note~~~~~~~
And done. The book is finally done and I'm sorry if it triggered anything. To be honest I was about to cry writing this. Pleases comment on how you felt about my writing and if you enjoyed my story and if you have any tips on my next book to come whatever that may be. See you next time and stay strong my fire flowers