His Death Awakened Me (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 11: Broken and Whole

It was early evening when Sean and I finally left his bedroom. The only reason we left though was because we were hungry. I checked the time on my phone. It was 9:15.

"Okay normally I would attempt to make you something but it's getting late," I teased Sean. He laughed.

"It's okay Jake. I figured we could go get something real quick. Get out for a bit," he replied. I nodded in agreement.

We made our way out to his car and got in. He started the engine and I flinched. Sean noticed and grabbed my hand tightly while he backed out of the driveway and pulled into the street.

"You okay?" He asked. I shut my eyes and nodded. Being in the car was hard. It just reminds me of Collin and my heart aches because of it.

"Where do you want to eat?" Sean asked as he looked both ways and turned the corner. I shrugged.

"I don't know." I cautiously looked out the window and squeezed Sean's hand tighter. I was probably hurting him. I should stop. His thumb started gently massaging my hand between my thumb and index finger. I relaxed into the seat.

"How about McDonalds?" He asked.

"How romantic," I teased. He smirked.

"Who said it was supposed to be romantic?" I raised an eyebrow at him. We smiled at each other as he pulled up to the drive-thru. "What do you want?"

"I'll have the Big Mac," I said.

"I figured you would," he replied as he began ordering.

I watched him as he spoke. The way his light brown hair was messy but still styled, the way his eyelashes fluttered as he talked, and the way his lips moved. I was so glad that this boy had been my friend for so many years and was here for me when I needed him most. I never thought things would turn out the way they did, but I'm glad I'm with him.

"You don't even know yourself." Collin had said something to that affect on that fateful day. At the time I didn't know what the hell he was talking about. Or at least, I didn't want to admit it. Now I see that he was talking about Sean. Collin knew as soon as I told him about Kim didn't he? How I didn't enjoy that kiss? He realized in that moment before I did. Oh Collin...

"Jake?" Sean asked sadly. My eyes had glazed over without me realizing just from the realization.

"I'm sorry. I just remembered something about Collin," I told him, as he pulled around the building to the window to get our food. He looked over at me.

"What did you remember?" He asked gently, looking into my eyes reassuringly. My hands were shaking and Sean held the one in his hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing gently. I quickly pulled my hand out of his grasp. He frowned.

"Someone might see," I muttered. He shook his head sadly. The lady came to the window and he gave her the money he owed. She flashed pearly white teeth at us, her black hair falling loosely in her face. I spaced off for a bit and before I knew it we were driving off with our burgers and fries.

"Collin knew," I said softly, leaning my head against the window. Sean arched an eyebrow at me.

"What do you mean? He knew?" He asked, confused. He turned on his signal and waited to pull out into traffic. I closed my eyes again. I felt Sean's fingers close around my hand again.

"He knew I was...." I trailed off. We pulled onto the busy street and then Sean spoke again.

"Did you tell him?" He asked. I shook my head.

"'No. I was confused. When you walked in the house that day-" I stopped myself from finishing, my cheeks red with embarrassment. Oh god I couldn't tell him about that. Sean smirked.