Letters to Jaemin

Letter | 19

Letter #18

Dear Jaemin,

          I can still remember the day you came to the hospital and feed me the porridge you'd made. I told you back then that I could eat by myself but you insisted and said that you'll be my nurse for the whole day.

          We did nothing but to chitchats about random things and then you ended up telling me about your friendship with Jeno. It was quite fun to know that you guys became best of friends when you're still in kindergarten—way back when he defended you from your bullies.

          You even told me that you're such a terrible cook but I do not agree, the porridge that you've made tasted like heaven so there's no way that you could've messed up your cooking.

          But do you remember what I did back then? When you were about to leave I held your hand and placed a sticky note on your palm—at first you just chuckled due to the childishness yet those faded when you read the note.

          "Jaemin, I don't know when or how—but it turns out that, I'm already falling for you. I like you." was written on the paper.

          Even tho I know I'll get rejected, I'm still hoping that maybe you're also interested with me, or maybe you also like me—but no.

          You looked at me directly in the eye and said the words "I'm sorry Minji, but the only thing that I could offer for now is just friendship".

          The tiny spark of hope in my heart died. I thought you were about to leave but you grabbed my hands and told me that I'm precious to you. That you want to treasure me that is why you're keeping the friendship. You told me that I'm important that's why you're my bestfriend.

          "I want to keep you closer. I don't want to lose you, so I'm keeping this friendship because I'm afraid that we might end up hurting each other in the end and we might forget how important we were for each other then we'll left with a huge scar in our hearts". Those are the exact words you told me that literally went through my heart.

          I'm so lucky Jaemin, I'm so fortunate that I've found you.

          I'm lucky to be your bestfriend, yet ofcourse I'm still hoping for something more than that.

-Minji