Infiltration

Back Home Blues

I walked back into the safe confines of Gallagher Academy exhausted. It was 3 a.m. Sunday morning and I couldn’t wait to sink into y bed and go to sleep. Jade and I drug our bags quietly against the tile floor. Neither one of us talked. I knew that Jade was sad after leaving Mason. She didn’t get the chance to tell him what she wanted to tell him because of everything. I know that someday she will. I understand what she’s going through. I shook my head slightly and continued to move toward our room. Finally we reached it and I opened up the door.

“Home sweet home.” Jade whispered walking in ahead of me. Its weird how I consider Gallagher Academy more of my home now than my actual house. I guess with everything that’s happened to me over these past couple years I know this is the one place on the whole planet where I know I belong. The one place where I know I will be safe. The one place that actually feels like home anymore. I rubbed the doorpost a bit before walking into the room. Our roommates were sleeping peacefully in their beds. I knew that they knew we were here. I guess they knew we’d be there in the morning and there was no point in waking up now to talk to us. I’m glad. I’m way to exhausted to talk about anything to anyone right now. I stripped off my clothes and changed into a large t-shirt. I looked over at Jade who was doing the same thing. She threw me a small smile. “We did everything we could.” She whispered to me.

“I know, I just wish I didn’t feel like I didn’t do enough.” I said biting my lip.

“Just the life of a spy.” She replied shrugging. She walked up to me and gave am e tight hug. “Get some sleep. You deserve it.” She said before walking over to her bed. I followed her lead. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out of it.

The next morning I woke up late. My friends weren’t in the room. I’m guessing they went to breakfast or something. I rolled out of be and took a long shower. After drying off I looked at myself in the mirror. Even though it’s been months since I’ve been back I still don’t recognize the person who looks back at me in the mirror. A person with such beauty, but with so much hurt in her eyes. I think back to the person I was when I first came here. What I looked like. How I acted. Everything. I look at that person. So innocent. So young. So untouched by this world. I look at that person and I envy her. I’m jealous of the person I used to be. I miss the time in my life where everything was so screwed up. I miss the time in my life where I didn’t spend every second looking over my shoulder. I miss the time in my life where I had my dad with me. Or when I didn’t have boy problems. Or when I was being hunted down. Or when I was wondering if I’m going to make it through my senior year. I miss the girl I used to be. I’m jealous of her. And I probably will always be jealous of her. I wiped away the stray tears that fell down my face and got changed. Shorts and a t-shirt. Simple. I walked out of my room and down the hall.

“Ela!” Tyler shouted after me. I didn’t expect to see him so soon. I don’t know if I wanted to see him so soon. I still felt extremely guilty after spending my New Year’s eve and day with Alex. Choosing between the two of them has been and probably will be the hardest decision I will ever make. I turned around and saw him smiling at me. I couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“Hey!” I said waiting for his arms to wrap around me.

“Hey!” He replied pecking my lips. “I missed you.” He added with a pout.

“I missed you too.” I said rubbing his cheek with my thumb.

“Let’s go for a walk.” He said taking my hand into his.

“Ok.” I whispered. He led me outside.

“So, babe, tell me about it. What happened?” He asked looking down at me.