Chapter 3

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Chapter 3

Once breakfast is done, we sit down to eat. After eating, I clean the kitchen with his help and we head out to the living room. Taking the same spots we did the night before, he says "Come here." I move closer like he says and sit next to him. Taking my hand, he intertwined our fingers. "This okay?" he asked and I nodded. Watching a movie, I feel him rubbing his thumb across my knuckles and start to feel myself relax. I'd not slept much these last few days and I must have dozed off. I wake up as the movie goes off and I am laying against him with his arm around me. Sitting up I go to apologize and he stops me. "Don't. From here out, no more apologizing. You're my wife and I want you to be okay around me." he says. "All this time, you've worried about me. How are you handling this?" I asked. "I'm okay. Still a little freaked out but okay." he tells me. "Thank you." I say. "For what?" he asked. "Being nice. Letting me freak out." I say. He puts his arm around me and pulls me to him again as he starts the next movie. I don't stiffen up this time.

After the next movie is done, he says "Looking at the info that Alvarez sent with us, I have a job interview tomorrow for a mechanic's job." he says. "Okay. I can get a job too." I say. "No. You concentrate on getting comfortable. I can handle shit for us." he says. I look at him and he takes my hand. "Let me do this for a while. You need to get yourself used to being around people before you get out there." he says and I nod and say "You're right." He lets go of my hand and heads to the kitchen for a beer. I get up and head to the back porch. Looking out at the yard, I lose myself in my thoughts. I hear the door open and Juan walks out and takes the chair next to me. "You okay Olivia?" he asked. "I think so. You know, I had plans for myself." I tell him. "What kind of plans?" he asked. "Getting married, kids, planting a flower garden. Things like that." I say. "You can still have those things." he says. I look at him and shake my head. "No I can't." I say. "How's that?" he asked. "Who's gonna want to be with someone who can't even handle being touched? Someone who's fucking damaged goods? No one's gonna want that." I say, getting up to go back inside. He grabs my wrist and says "You ain't damaged." I pull my wrist out of his grip and walk into the house. Going to my room, I lay on the bed and sob.

Later that day, there's a knock on my bedroom door before it opens. "Liv?" he asked. I don't speak. "Hey." he says before walking over and sitting on the bed. He reaches over and touches my arm and I jump a little. "Sorry." he says. I sit up and throw my legs over the edge of the bed with my back to him. "I want to show you something." he says. Walking around to my side of the bed, he takes my hand and leads me to the kitchen. Seeing it's dark outside, I look at the table where there's candles lit and dinner is served. "Juan?" I asked. "I wanted to do something nice for you." he says. "This is beautiful." I say. We sit down to eat and we are silent.

After dinner, he leads me to the back porch where there are Christmas lights hanging all around giving off a romantic glow. He turns on some music and says "Dance with me?" I shyly take his hand and he pulls me close and we sway from side to side. His hand on the small of my back and the other holding my hand to his chest. I lay my head on his chest and once the song is done, he looks at me and wipes the tears from my eyes. "Hey. It's okay." he says. "Thank you for this." I say. Pulling me closer, he just holds me as the next song comes on.

We sit in the deck chairs and are silent for a while, just enjoying the quiet. "Can I ask tell something?" I asked. "Yeah." he says. "Uh, I know that this marriage is just for show but when we get some money saved up, I won't hold you to this arrangement if you want to leave." I tell him. "We'll decide that when the time comes. But for now, we're in this together." he says and I nod. Reaching over, he takes my hand and laces our fingers together and we just sit.

I must have dozed off because next thing I know, Juan is picking me up and putting me in my bed. He covers me up and slips out of the bedroom and into his own. I feel myself start to panic. I wake up and I can't breathe. I can't stop the tears. Once I get my breathing under control, I walk to the back porch and just sit there. I can't go back to sleep. Everytime I do, I see them raping me. I watch the sun come up and head inside to start breakfast. I make Juan a plate as he comes in and pour him some coffee. I start to head back to the porch when he grabs my hand. "Hey. You okay?" he asked. I just nod and head outside. He follows me. Kneeling in front of me he asked "How long have you been up?" I just shake my head. "I'm fine Juan. You should eat before you go." I tell him. "Talk to me." he says. "Just nightmares. I'll be fine." I say. "What time did you get up?" he asked again. "About 3am. Couldn't get back to sleep." I tell him. "Next time, come in my room. You can stay with me." he says and I nod.

I walked back inside with him and we ate breakfast. Well, he ate. I picked at my food. "You need to eat." he says. "I'm only used to eating every couple of days." I tell him. "Well, you really should try to eat. Please." he says softly. I nod and eat a few pieces of bacon and a piece of toast. He gets ready for his interview while I start cleaning the kitchen. "I was thinking, you said something about a flower garden. When I'm done, if you want, we can go to town and get some plants and shit to plant. I can help you." he says. "Yeah. That would be great. Thanks." I say.

A couple of hours later, he walks in the door and says "I got the job. Start Monday." he says. "Good. That gives us the weekend to relax." I tell him. "You ready to head to town?" he asked. Taking a deep breath, I nod and we head to the car. We pull up to the local garden shop and before we get out, Juan tells me. "If it gets too uncomfortable, just grab my hand. Stay close, okay." I nod and we get out. We walk around for a few and it starts to get too much for me so I grab his hand. Lacing our fingers he leans and whispers "We need to be seen as a couple." I nod. We walk through with a buggy and as I pick the flowers that I want, he puts them in the buggy. "Can I get some rose bushes later on?" I asked. "We can get them now if you want." he says and I nod. He picks out three. One red, one pink and one yellow. "Yellow roses are my favorites." I tell him and he smiles. We are walking down one aisle and I stop to look at gladiolus and he pulls me close and kisses me temple. "That was okay wasn't it?" he whispers. I look up at him and say "Yeah." I take the chance and kiss his cheek and he smiles softly. I look up and see an older couple smiling at us. I blush and we walk on.

After checking out, getting topsoil and other things we need to get these planted, we head to the back yard. "Where do you want to put these?" Juan asked. "Can we put one of the rose bushes on each side of the steps and the other in the center at the back of the yard?" I asked. "This is your garden Liv, we do it however you want." We spend the next few hours, getting things planted. "This is going to be beautiful with these Christmas lights." I say as we sit on the steps looking out at our work. "You seem to be a little more relaxed." he says. "I always loved working in the garden. I used to work with my mom all the time when I was a kid. Gladiolus and yellow roses were our favorites." I say. "Well, let's get washed up and order dinner." he says.

After we both had showers, we settle down to watch some tv and it seems like we are getting more comfortable with each other. That night, when we head to bed, I drift off to sleep. I wake up again and look at the clock and see it's 2am. I have tears rolling down my face. Pulling my knees up to my chin, I sob. When my tears finally stop, I remember what Juan said. Getting out of bed, I walk to his room and slowly pull the covers back and slide in, hoping I don't wake him. He must have sensed me there because he turns facing me and puts his arm around my waist and pulls me to him. "Night Liv." he whispers in my ear. "Night Juan." I say before drifting off to a peaceful sleep.

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