Fight me // nct yuta

Chapter 11

Hansuke's pov:

My head is hung low, my hands are stuffed in my jacket pockets, and my headphones are on full blast as I slowly make my way to my group's lunch table. I stare at the ground, ignoring everyone around me as the scene from this morning plays in my head.

The drive to school is quiet, Yuta glances at me periodically asking if I'm okay, but other than that, we make no attempt at conversation. Yuta parks the car and turns it off before facing me, lightly grabbing my wrist to stop me from getting out.

"Wait a sec, kiddo. I need to say something. Remember the talk we had yesterday?" I nod as a response. "Okay, so you know what you need to do today?" I nod once again, recalling the promise I made to apologize to Jisung. "Okay, good. I'll see you later then." He flashes me one of his healing smiles, as his friends call it, and we hop out of the car, both heading in different directions.

I scrunch my eyebrows in thought, wondering how in the world am I supposed to apologize without blowing up when I see Jisung. I don't know why but when I see him, I get so angry. How does he always seem so happy? Him and his stupid, perfect life. I shake away my thoughts and quicken my pace, hoping my friends will help calm my nerves.

Crash.

I glance up only to see Jisung looking back at me, gently rubbing his shoulder. I guess I don't have time to calm my nerves anymore. Jisung has a slight scowl on, brows furrowed and removes his hand from his shoulder. He must be upset about yesterday.

I feel embarrassed and mumble a "sorry," quietly.

"What?" I can tell his question is genuine, not teasing, like he really didn't hear me, but the words escape my mouth before I can think.

"What, you want me to say it louder?" I say harshly, regretting how I speak without thinking. Jisung flinches slightly, but remains with a scowl plastered on his face. My face switches to one of remorse after I spew these words at him and I begin forming the right words to apologize for everything I've done to him. However, before I can say anything, Jisung turns away from me saying a quick "forget it," and walks in the opposite direction, leaving me feeling regretful.

I sigh, this always happens. I don't snap at him on purpose, it just happens. At first it was just teasing, just to mess with him. Eventually, it turned into something I never wanted it to be, and now, he hates me. I don't know what it is, but every time I see him, all this pent up anger just builds up, and I take it out on him without meaning to. I curse at myself quietly. Now how do I ask Jisung to forgive me?

I let my head drop once again and continue to walk towards my friends, music still ringing out of my headphones. Finally approaching the table, I plop down next to Renjun, who glances at me questioningly but continues with the conversation he was having with Donghyuk after I wave my hand dismissively. The day goes by slow, my headphones never ceasing to play music, even while in class. I don't bother to listen to the teachers and stare out the window, lack of emotion on my face and my mind blank. The last bell rings and we are dismissed from our last class of the day. With this in mind, I quickly gather my things and I'm the first to run out of class, going to the pillars at the front of the school and I wait. Soon enough I see a blonde head of hair walk out of the building and immediately I recognize it as Jisung's.

Ok, ok, deep breath. Relax, try talking to him. All I have to do is apologize. Simple, right?

I stand by the pillar, my hands rubbing my knuckles in a nervous manner. I take a step out, but quickly step back behind the pillar out of nervousness. Come on, Hansuke, just go up to him, you look like a schoolgirl with a crush. I shake my head and realize that he's close to passing me so I quickly reach out and grab him by the shoulder. Jisung looks surprised at first but once he sees its me who grabbed him, he scowls at my hand. I glance at my hand, which is still on his shoulder, and nervously, I remove it, pulling it back by my side and fiddle with my thumbs.