17. Edward

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I know we're in the mist of Edward whenever I hear that song. It's my lullaby; Bella's lullaby. No wonder he's been having troubles forgetting me; he most likely plays this song everyday.

Alice stops in her tracks right before entering Edward's room and knocks on the open door.

"I've got a surprise!" her cheerful tone never gets old to listen too. She brings me into his room quickly and I start to get butterflys forming in my stomach. Will Edward noitce my difference? Will he treat me the same as last time I saw him? Everything possible is running through my mind and I can't stop it!

Right when I meet my eyes with his all my worries fly away and the only thing left is happiness. The hole in my chest has gone completely and all that remains is my heart; beating and flitting with joy. I never had thought seeing him would make me happier. I thought it would just bring back all the bad thoughts and trigger them off in my mind. "Bella!" Alice's voice comes back into my head and I look at her.

"Huh?" Is all I say before even Edward chuckles a bit. I guess my nerves have been racking up awhile and now they're all coming out on me. I gulp down hard and slightly smile back. Edward looks exactly the same yet a cold erie tension lights up inside of him. It's like nothing I've ever seen before and it kind of scares me; though I know Edward wont hurt me.

"Bella came to see you." Alice says quietly coming back into my hearing. I nod but keep my eyes locked on Edward. His bronze hair gleams in the invisable sun shining down and his golden eyes show the vampire I use to love... before Jacob.

"I needed company." I say looking past him and through the windows. I can't take my mind of Jacob now. Where is he? Doesnt he know how much this is hurting me with him being gone? Doesnt he know how much harder he's making everything? I wish he would understand how discreet I am without him; how much lament has overcome me just in his absense...

I'm nudged by Alice as I come back into reality. My eyes adjust from the long stare I have eagerly forced my self upon and onto Alice. "Sorry." I mutter, leaving my words hanging from my mouth and disappering into the room.

"Alright well, I'll leave you two alone then." and before I can argue that topic Alice is already gone. I sigh and then face my attention back toward Edward; his eyes meet mine before mine meet his.

"So why did you really come?" he asks leaving a remoteness feeling in the room. I dont know what to tell him. Should I lie and bring up something completely different or tell him the truth. I decided the best known answer. Lie.

"I heard there was this-this new movie...out." I'm almost positive he didnt believe it for a second. And I was right.

"Tell me the truth." I sigh and then spill everything. Jacob's disapperance, my depression state, Charlie's advice to cheer me up. Everything. It's then I realize who this all reminds me of. Edward. All of these things I've just told him are reminders of when Edward had left me. Everything is the same; everything is still fresh in my brain like a new cut bleeding heavily. Like a new hole burning it's way into me.

I wrap my arms around my stomach and try to think of anything else but Edward's words just throw me off even more.

"So you really did come for company...since Jacob left?" he asks still connected to my eyes. I studder feeling the hole in my chest grow bigger and bigger until I can't hold it in anylonger.

"Let's do something. Can Alice come too?" I ask trying not to be rude but to have some peace. Alice is always so cheerful she'll always make me feel better; just as Edward did when I wasnt thinking about Jacob. His eyes stay concerned on me and I look up. "What?" I ask trying to sound casual. I can hear his lips give out a sigh as he answers.

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