You're Mine

8. Ash

5.13.19

As I exited to the outside world, I caught sight of the boy that had been giving me the creeps all day. He has been looking at me all day, and it's so weird that I might have to give his head a love tap just to get him to stop being so odd. "Alright, listen up," I snapped once I got close to him, and he turned around. There was an expression on his face that was nearly impossible to read, but I ignored it as I waited impatiently for him to stop moving so I could finish the question. "I have a question for you. Why the hell have you been watching me all day?"

I looked at him stumbling over his words like he had committed some crime, and the anger deep inside my chest began to blossom at the way he was acting. How hard is it to not be a freak!?

"U-uh, you noticed?" he asked, a light blush staining his freckled cheeks. He began to fidget with his fingers, proving the fact that he was hiding something big. I don't have the time for this. If he has a crush on me

"Well!? Why are you staring at me every waking second of today!?" I shouted, my voice even harsher than before. The way he flinched tugged a lot on my heart strings, but I hid it from him. He doesn't deserve the satisfaction of watching me coddle over him. Then again, maybe I'm looking at this all wrong. With every breath he takes, I feel drawn closer and closer to him, and I can't figure out why. That's the only reason I'm so mean to him, I can't handle my own brain shutting down and surrounding me in fear and doubt.

"W-well..." he started at almost a whisper, the rest of his statement too quiet for me to hear. The look of fear in his eyes fed my power hungry side, and I felt the need to prod farther even though it might push him over the edge. I find it so important to take care of him, but also to make sure his head doesn't get too large for his body if you know what I mean. Deep down in my chest, I feel like he is the sun in my world, but to say that aloud would literally kill me. Honestly, even admitting that just in my mind makes me want to throw up all over his shoes.

"What was that?" I snarled angrily, and he took a step back away from me. His confident façade had fallen off like a paper mask a child would make in arts and crafts. I think he might have a problem with yelling or something, but I wouldn't have any idea since I'm not in his brain.

"Nothing important, really."

"Well there had to be some meaning behind it."

"Just shut up, you would just make fun of my anyways. I don't want your verbal abuse." Just like that and his confident side was back. The fuel was running low on it, though, and I want to be the one to finally crack it. What is this boy truly like.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, suddenly much quieter as I took in the new information. He thinks I'm some kind of mega asshole, doesn't he. You have no idea how much that hurts me...

"It's just that... You're really mean to me and I can't handle it today, so please don't. Can we... Can we just be friends? Please? I'm tired of constantly having to deal with you at your worst. I think you have so much more underneath the surface of your anger, but I need you to open up to me... Please."

"I can only try my best, but... Yeah, we can do our best to make it work. You should get home, thought, these forests aren't very safe after the sun goes down." I didn't tell him that it was all my fault, he would never comprehend. No one had really been alive to raise me with restraint, so I couldn't control my blood cravings at night. I blame the werewolves. If it weren't for them, massacring my whole family, I could maybe be happy instead of alone, struggling to make friends and doing everything I can to assimilate with the humans without murdering all of them. My Mom would still be around, smiling, laughing, and kissing my father. Even he would be teaching me how to be running a coven, giving me the tough love that I see so often while I'm trying to steal my way in the world. Wherever that dumb Alpha's son is, I want him dead. No, not even dead. I want him to feel all of the pain that I feel every night. Rejection. Hurt. Sorrow. Dead Inside.

That's the exact thing I saw when I looked into Alex's sad eyes, but there was also hope brimming around the edges.

"Thank you. Bye," he responded, walking away. I couldn't help but feel a small prick in the bottom of my heart. What am I thinking, I don't like him, I can't. Maybe once I find my soulmate I'll be less alone, and I can't be ruining that by having a boyfriend before them.

The sun began to set and I felt the all too familiar feeling wash over me. Even to this day, the pure power that ran through my veins made me think I was invincible. Of course, I had learned the hard way that I wasn't that one time that I fell out of a tree. That hurt a lot for weeks.

I ran through the forest at a quick rate, feeling myself become ecstatic at the wind passing all around my body. If any animal got into my way, they got killed. I don't want to be a monster. I want to be free to spend a night with Brad or simply enjoy myself. Except no, this was how I was stuck each day, alone underneath the moon, almost like those dumb wolves.

Finally, after what felt like forever of not being in control of my own actions, the sun began to rise and I felt it release its energy from my exhausted body. Even though sleep wasn't required, that side of me always mentally breaks me down. I made my way to the hollow tree that I call home and changed into some other stolen clothing since mine was slightly bloody. I'd have to put it outside the next time it rains.

I picked up the small backpack that took up a small space in my abode and walked out to go to school. As soon as I stepped foot into the classroom, the bell rang and the teacher sent me a dirty look, telling me to take my seat swiftly so that she could take role. I plopped down onto my chair next to the boy that I made a promise with. A promise to break down my walls and just talk to him like myself. A promise I could hardly keep in my own brain. Every once in a while I would have distant memories of being a happy boy, openly playing and holding productive conversations with the other youth in his coven. That playful boy was gone now, buried by years of loneliness and forced into adulthood almost ten years earlier than he should have been.

However, when I looked into those eyes, listened to Alex's voice, soft like honey, I felt myself, my true self, return to the surface, even if it was only temporary. I think I might actually enjoy this friendship.