[MingKit/KimCop] Obsessed: Power Trip

08 - The afterglow and impossible

a/n: Thank you for waiting for this update. It's a bit short but more to follow.

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Ming's POV

I didn't remember much of anything by the time I threw myself onto my messy bed. And a part of me didn't particularly want to recount any of it at that moment either. I was sore and tired, the afterglow fading as quick as ever. The tension and stress was finding its way back to me, but this time it was ten times heavier. My brain was too slow to sift through everything at once, but there was one question that came back to me over and over.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

There must have been something, because no normal person would do the type of shit that I did. Nobody else seemed to give a fuck about impressing others, using others, manipulating other, but it was something I never stopped thinking about. I had been so caught up with the offer with Kit, and now my life was a hundred times worse than it had been before.

A pity party, and my arrogance wasn't invited. The one time I needed that voice to convince me I had done nothing wrong, to tell me exactly what I deserved and how none of it was my fault, and it was gone.

If I thought the night was bad, the morning was worse.

As soon as I looked at myself in the mirror, all of the questions and thoughts I wasn't able to get around to the night before re-appeared all at once.

The first and foremost was the un-deniability that a guy had sucked my dick, and that I had liked it. It would have been fine if I could have used Jay's excuse, "Your dick doesn't know the difference," he'd said. Motherfucker. My brain definitely knew the difference, and so did my cock.  Blowjobs like that just didn't happen unless you were paying some hooker for a good time.

Then again, if it had been the exact same blowjob, but with a girl, would it have still been as good?

I groaned and pressed my fists to my forehead, clenching my muscles and willing myself to forget everything. These were questions that I didn't, and couldn't answer. There was no possible way for me to test that theory, and if I continued making a big deal of it, it was only going to be another things to stress over.

I splashed some cold water onto my face, tensing at the temperature. As my face began to sting I repressed  every single thought of Kit and his fucking blowjob, and locked it into a tiny box in my mind.

I didn't have time for this fucking shit.

The match was a week away.

*****

"So?"

I could have killed Jay. I knew exactly what that 'so' was about, but I feigned ignorance. The more time I spent not thinking of him the better.

"What?" I asked, using a sudden burst of anger to kick the ball clear past Jay's head and towards the goal.

Jay's eyes trailed the ball, watching it score in the open net, before he replied. "Don't give me that bullshit." he said immediately as the ball rolled back towards us. "What happened with Cooper?" Jay kicked the ball to the right after faking left and followed through towards my end of the field.

"Copter." I corrected, running close behind him. "And gee, what do you think happened?"

Jay smiled as he aimed a kick, but it disappeared when the ball hit the pole. "Obviously something if you're being a pussy about it," he said, half-distracted with getting the ball before I could. I was a little quicker, racing towards it and picking it up.