What have I done?
"I'm in love with you Jennie." I said as I had her hands in mine with my eyes locked into her beautiful feline eyes that seemed to show bewilderment but was slowly turning into fear.
"W..what?" She stutters out. I let out a breath and hold her hands tighter, hands that fit so perfectly in mine.
"I'm in love with you Jennie. I've always been in love with you. But you're my best friend and I just couldn't risk ruining what we have." I winced slightly towards the pain in my chest as she smoothly pulled her hands away from me and crossed her arms while taking a step back. It was if she was scared to be near or even touch me.
"Then why did you?" She asks so quietly while shifting her gaze down to the floor. I gulp down a growing lump,
"Why did I what?" I ask. She lifts her gaze which caused the pinch to increase seeing tears threatening to escape her eyes.
"Why did you tell me?" I feel my body stiffen. I take in a shaky breath,
"Because, I-" I couldn't even finish my sentence, I didn't know how. How can I tell her that I thought she felt the same way considering her clingy self, her jealousy whenever I don't give her my attention or just the fondness in her eyes when she looks back into mine.
But, I guess it was all just me.
It was all in my head.
How can I tell her that this secret was slowly consuming me?
I couldn't.
"I don't know." I whisper.
I lied.
She hastily wipes her tear away and brushes her fingers through her hazel nut hair as a heart wrenching silence surrounded us. It was so unfamiliar to me. I go to reach for her but she swiftly took a step back,
"Don't Lisa. You c-can't Lisa. I don't feel the same way." She whimpers out as tears continued to poor down her eyes. I wanted to wipe them away but I was already wiping my own.
"I need space."
............
And so I gave it to her.
............
Jennie and I haven't spoken in months and it was killing me. Well, technically we have spoken but nothing that was regarding my obvious feelings for her. It was as if my confession never happened.
The only difference is, she always seemed awkward with the subtle touches from me, she'd no longer cling on to me or even sleep over at my place but would still joke around with me like we were best friends again.
It has been 3 months to be exact and it only took her a month to actually talk to me and look at me again.
I let out breath and lean my forehead against my locker. Chaeyoung chuckles and nudges my side,
"What's got you all pouty?" She asks as she leans her back against the lockers and hugs her textbooks to her chest. I dryly laugh and turn around to lean my back on the lockers as well.
"I got asked out yesterday." I state causing Chaeyoung to gasp and stare wide eyed towards me.
"What?! By who??" She excitingly asks a little too loud for comfort. I chuckle and nudge her playfully,
"Relax chipmunk it's not that serious." I state. She teasingly rolls her eyes,
"Of course it's serious! Someone actually had the balls to ask out Lalisa Manoban?!" She squeals louder causing unwanted eyes linger on us as they walk by. I blush in embarrassment and send passing students apologetic smiles.
"What's gotten the pink haired girl this excited?" Jisoo teases as her and Jennie made their way towards us. I groan in annoyance and placed my face in my hands causing the girls to chuckle.
"Apparently our little Maknae was recently asked out yesterday." She states. I peek through my fingers and quickly saw Jisoo staring at me with a wide smirk while Jennie was staring at me with a blank expression.
Ignoring their looks I quickly sighed and pulled my hands a way to cross my arms.
"You're making it sound like a big deal." I grumble out. Jisoo laughs and waves her hands dismissively towards me and ignores my previous statement,
"Just spill the tea Manoban. Who asked you out?" She asks. I shrug and avert my gaze to the floor with blushing cheeks,
"Niki from math class." I reply but instantly cringed hearing the girls squealing in excitement. I roll my eyes and chuckle but felt my heart drop seeing Jennie staring at me with an unreadable expression.
"Did you say yes?" Jennie asks. I look over at her and shook my head,
"I haven't decided yet." She nods and walks to her locker. Without looking my way, she opens her locker and speaks up, not knowing that her words had crushed me,
"You should say yes." She states. I stiffen slightly and noticed the other girls silently watching us with intensity. They both knew our situation but never spoke up about it to any of us.
You know what?
"Okay I will."
Her body stiffened.
.............
End of Part 1
