A Crush

Chapter 38

Richie's point of view

I slowly sat up to face my lost love, looking him straight into those blue orbs. There was sorrow, hurt and regret in them, something that let my heart crack a little further. "Well, what do you wanna talk about?", I asked and looked down, studying my hands which were resting on my knees. "Well, I wanna talk about the situation of the last few months", he replied, gulping as he saw a tear rolling down my cheek again. "I... I'm sorry Rich", he whispered and somehow that sentence let the anger boil inside my veins. "THAT'S ALL? YOU LET ME DROWN IN DEPRESSIONS AND KILLED MY SELF ESTEEM, AND THIS IS WHAT I GET? A SIMPLE EXCUSE?", I yelled, Jonny shivering at my now loud voice. "Please Rich... Let me explain...", he whined, a begging look in his tear filled eyes. "Well, okay... But now I want to hear a really good excuse", I snapped, looking away from his heart melting eyes.

"Rich, I did this to save you. Have you ever read the newspaper before I married Dot? Every day there was a new article, saying something like: Jon Bon Jovi and his guitarist Richie Sambora, are they more than friends? And then there always were pics of some pretty intense moments we shared right under it. For example one of us walking down a street hand in hand, or me kissing you on the cheek on stage while we both blushed and had loving glances in our gazes. The record company phoned me and asked me if it was true, if we are dating, and I had to lie to them and say no. Well, after saying that, I had to proof my words. So I married Dot, one of my highschool affairs, to push the truth away from in front of the record company's eyes. I don't love her Rich, she loves me. I just thank her that she does something like this for me and covers my sexuality by acting like I do love her."

I was speechless. I definitely didn't expected that. He did this to save me, to save the band. He had paid the price of marrying someone who he didn't love just to keep our relationship a secret. Jon suddenly got up and reached out to take the guitar from the ground. "I wrote a song for you Rich, and if we will never be together again, I still wanna sing it to you" Tears trickled down my cheeks at his words and I could just nod, waiting for him to begin.

"This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up

It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see, I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

And I, will love you
Baby, always
And I'll be there forever and a day
Always

I'll be there til the stars don't shine
Til the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme
I know when I die you'd be on my mind
And I love you
Always

Now the pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye

What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
Touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers, try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you been needing to hear
I wish I was him, 'cause these words are mine
To say to you till the end of time

And I, will love you
Baby, always
And I'll be there forever and a day
Always

If you told me to cry for you, I could
If you told me to die for you, I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you

Well, there ain't no luck in this loaded dice
But baby, if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams and our old lives
We'd find a place where the sun still shines