The Ultimate Play (BWWM)

XIV. "I'm fine."

XIV.

Weeks and weeks passed with Chance and I not making so much as a glance at each other. I was hurt, angry, and slightly depressed.

I had no one to blame except myself. I didn't have to do the things I did, and I knew from the beginning what I said would make him angry, but that didn't stop me. I'm so stupid.

No, I can't sit here and bask in my own guilt. He said some pretty fucked up shit himself. I should have just let you die.

Those words were etched into my brain for weeks. It was all I heard. It was those words that hurt the most. How could he say something like that to me? I knew he was an asshole but that was just cold. I guess I had been asking for it for a while.

I kind of wish I could say sorry, but I can never be the first to apologize. I'll just forever sit and wait on him. I know, I have a problem, but I'm sure he'll come around. I'm almost positive.

Now as I sit on the bleachers in my gym class, I can't help but glance at him as he plays basketball on the court with the rest of the guys. School for me had resumed as if nothing really happened. Tiffany was arrested, of course, along with Adrian who was an accomplice to the crime.

The court hearing was kind of tough on me, having to explain the events again always led my mind back to Chance, and he was the last person I wanted to think about. Tiffany now sits in a prison near Austin, Texas. I think she has, maybe three to four years in there, unless they decide to send her to an asylum, because the girl is nuts.

"Yo! Danny Scar! What's up?" My thoughts were interrupted by the annoying British voice of Rodrick who now called me "Danny Scar" because of the burn scar on my left arm. I hate Chance even pointed out his annoying accent; it makes me want to puke.

"Hello, Rodrick." I said lowly, looking at the tips of my tattered shoes.

"Why you look so sad?" He asked, I assumed he was slightly concerned.

"I'm fine." I responded, wishing he would just leave already. Leave and never come back.

"No, you're not fine. What's wrong?" I felt him take a seat beside me and pat my back. I reflexively tensed up.

"I'm fine." I stated blandly, a tear sliding from my eye as I propped my elbow on my leg, resting the side of my face in my hands.

"Cool, fine. I'll go away. I just wanted to tell you that you really need to talk to Chance. He's got it bad." He stood and backed away. "It's just a suggestion."

I rolled my eyes and slid my ear buds deep inside my ear, letting the lyrics of a song I didn't know fill into my ears. It was rock, I hated and loved rock all at the same time. Some rock music is good and some is just weird and the rythym sucks, but people like it. Maybe I'm just bad at music selection, wouldn't be a surprise because I get almost everything else wrong.

The bell rung above my head and I slipped my earbuds out of my ear, getting up and grabbing my things. It's almost time for Christmas break and luckily I had at least two friends left. Bridget took sides with Chance and hasn't really been speaking to me. Roni and Becky scolded me for the things I said, but they still swear they have my back through this all.

I walk out of the gym in a slow pace, not really caring if I was late. I have no purpose to be in class on time anymore. My life is basically dull and empty without the one person that had the biggest effect on me.

Everytime I walk these halls I almost expect someone to place their arm around my shoulder. I almost expect to get a "Hey, beautiful." I almost expect him. I almost miss him. I almost loved him, but I already lost him.