The Ultimate Play (BWWM)

XV. "Not that I was looking that hard."

XV.

•| chancellor |•

"Bro, you might as well just let her go, but I'm just going off what you told me. I know it's deeper than that." Jonathan said from the recliner in the living room. He had came over after practice, uninvited. None of the guys never really stop by my house unless I'm injured or something and I guess you could say I'm kind of injured. In better words, I'm broken beyond repair.

"Even if I move on, who am I going to run to? I don't like any of the girls at school. None of them are like Da-...her." I explain, plopping down on the couch.

"Chance, do you really want my honest opinion?" He scratched his head and looked at me.

"I wouldn't appreciate it if you lied to me." I responded, closing my eyes. Thinking about her makes my head ache so badly. Why is she even on my mind?

"Well, for one. You guys only knew each other really for like a month. Secondly, you guys jumped in way too fast and that's coming from a guy who used to have a girl for every day of the week. You guys' intentions probably weren't even right at the time."

I sighed. "I just don't know, but I get what you're saying."

"Aye, enough of all this sad shit. Roscoe is having a party Friday night, you in?" He asked.

I paused and thought for a second before agreeing. I've been to plenty of parties, never enjoyed them, but I've been. Maybe a horrible, hot, and sweaty party is all I need to keep me from thinking of the one person that has been on my mind since weeks ago when she stomped the little piece of heart I had left.

*

It's 4 a.m and I'm up staring at the ceiling. My alarm is bound to go off any second now, but I'd already be awake, still gazing at the white ceiling. I can't sleep; I won't sleep; and I haven't been able to sleep for days now. It's all because of her.

I glance at my phone on the nightstand and contemplate on whether or not I should call her, but what would I say. I know she's expecting a sorry to which I refuse to give to her. All the things I said were true and were an exact example of tough love.

I know I called her out her name more than just once, but I only speak what I feel is true. I felt like she was acting like a bitch and I let that be known, crucify me.

I finally grab my phone, not even sure what I was about to do with it. I'm not going to call her, and I know it's better if I don't text her, but what will I say if I call?

"I know you're looking for an apology but I'm not givjng one. I just called to see if you're okay. So, like, are you okay?"

That's all I have to say to her. Look, I'm still caring even when were not on good terms, but I never cared to begin with. I still can't believe she let that lie slip through her teeth, but that's not the worse she said.

Tim raped my sister. Those words fuel my anger most of all. How did she know? Was that true? Is Tim Jacobson really the father of Janice DuBose?

I threw my phone across my room in frustration. This is why I never talk to girls. This is why I stay focus on my sports and my education. Danny was nothing but a distraction. A beautiful distraction that got your attention just so it can kill you in the end. A glorious distraction to which I basically worshipped. A perfect distraction to which put me in this vulnerable state.